So, as you may or may not know, today (May 9th) is the 1 year anniversary of my mom’s diagnosis. My mom is in New Mexico right now, and has no access to a computer, so when we talked earlier, she asked me to blog for her. I gladly accepted her challenge.
It’s hard to believe that it has been 366 days since my mom was diagnosed. A couple of weeks before we found out, I’d be rubbing her shoulders, and there were lumps. I thought they were knots, but she told me to leave them alone. It was bothering me. I think it was Monday or Tuesday night, we were laying in her bed. Clay was in the crib, Kelly was at work, she told me she got a biopsy that day. So I got a little freaked out. She hadn’t told my siblings. Just me. She told me not to tell anyone else.
I was walking home from the bus stop, and Kelly called me. Alec called me. Mom called me. Where are you? Family meeting. When are you gonna be here? I’m a block away. Just hold on a second. I knew what was going on. We wouldn’t be having a family meeting unless it was about what I thought it was about.
Within the next half hour, everybody in the room was crying. Kelly, Mom, Alec, Tucker and Asa, Bailey, and me. Clay was sleeping I think. You can’t not cry when somebody that you love so dearly, with your entire heart gets sick like this. I don’t think it would have been as bad if it was stage 1, just a lump, minor surgery, a few rounds of chemotherapy. But this is something that won’t just go away that easy. This becomes your entire life.
I think it’s been a hard year for all of us. Not so much Clay, but everyone else. I’m glad to see how many people have come closer, and disappointed that a few have gone away. Every new face I see in the house, it gives me this feeling that the world isn’t filled with really awful people who can’t park correctly and think of how other people feel ever. And when I see the same few faces every day or week or every few weeks, I’m glad.
I think as teenagers, that the twins, Alec, and I have had to grow up a little bit faster than we expected. We’ve all taken on more responsibilities. Like blogging for mom when she’s in New Mexico. I love taking care of Clay, but it seems like it’d be so much easier if mom wasn’t sick. She could take care of the baby. But then I wouldn’t know all these people that have felt some sort of connection with my mom through the blog. I feel like everybody is expecting the same from me at school even though mom is sick, so, dealing with all the school, and trying to spend time with mom is hard. I wanna do both. But, I’m doing good in all my classes this quarter! I didn’t do as great as I could’ve last quarter, but I’ve brought myself back up. Alec is finishing up his IB testing. The twins are finishing up their year, and getting ready for St. Joseph’s Preparatory School.
It’s great that even though mom is sick, we are getting to do family things. Compared to most families with a person with cancer, I believe, that we have done so much stuff. I’m so glad we got to spend last week together. It was great for Clayton that none of us left throughout the day, and it was a new place to explore. I needed time away from civilization for a minute.
It is now 12:40 Saturday morning, so should probably be getting to sleep.