I’m not dead yet. This is what the T shirt Andrea picked out and I got for her when we took Jesse to go see Spamalot on Broadway. This is how she frequently approached her cancer. This is the Andrea we all felt some sense of awe about. This is also how I feel about this blog. So my sweeties (something else she might say) After a long wait with no internet connection, here we are again. I’m hoping that we can all come together on the idea that it is not yet time to let the memory of the beautiful person that Andrea was and the ideals she stood for slip away quietly. In fact not many were privy to much about this woman that she did quietly, I shall always consider myself fortunate for being one of the few.
The kids all seem to be doing well. There are a lot of ups and downs in this period of much adjustment but we are all pulling through. New house almost unpacked (thanks to many beautiful friends). My mom and step father (very much a father) have been here helping me with the baby and putting the finishing touches on everything. the kids are getting into the swing of things in new schools while Jesse kicks it old school. I am trying to get used to being a single parent and fall into a routine. I think thats gonna take a minute though.
So I got tattooed last night. Its a pretty dead punk rock girl with her head on a leopard spot pillow with black roses in the background and ribbons reading anything for love. I asked one of my coworkers to draw it up right after Andrea passed. It is a great tattoo, though when I looked at it this morning I felt it was a bit more morbid than I had anticipated much in the vein of how I felt about Andreas death. The important part, what it stands for, is very relevant though. ANYTHING FOR LOVE. If I learned anything from the experience of loving and losing such a lovely human being it is what is actually important. Had I to do it all over again, I would still be right where I am today. I would still have a baby. I would still feel the loss of a dead wife. I would still be tattooing. I would still have amazing friends. The only thing I would have done differently would be to worry less about money and career, and maybe take that extra hour a day and love my wife even more (and I did love her well). I hope to take this lesson (and I can always just read my leg) with me and apply it well to the rest of my life. To all present and future relationships be they platonic, family, or well you know the other kind. These are the real investments to be made. So please go out and give someone worthy that extra hour soon. And when you are feeling blue, know that you are loved.