Punk Rock Mommy

punkrockmommy.jpg

Ironically or maybe predictably I took a “what kind of mom are you” quiz. And apparently I am a punk rock mommy! So as a trivia question who can tell me who that is a picture of? I will give a t-shirt to the first three correct answers.

I am happy to impart punk rock wisdom to my children. Think for yourself. Think outside the box. Do not let others dictate to you what is normal. Challenge people’s ideas about what it means to be a Christian. Be yourself. Do not fear new things. Love the Clash. Love independent music, movies , skateboards, and politicians. Kill your television it will rot your brain. Love the thrift store. Enjoy art..all kinds of art. Your first tattoo should always say “mom”. Don’t worry about what other people think. Forge your own path. And have fun.

Of course I teach them the “normal” stuff too. Its good to wash on a regular basis so you are not the smelly kid. And so you can grow up and get a girlfriend and a job. Trust God. Trust your family. Don’t steal from anyone. Don’t hurt people. Love your family and friends. Be thankful. Be patient. Be forgiving. Take responsibility for everything you do both good and bad. Hold babies every time they cry.Accept what life has to offer in terms of challenges but do not be afraid to change. Fight for what you believe in. Laugh often. Cry some too. Eat good food. And play board games whenever possible.

Being a mom is what I have been doing for more than 17 years. Sometimes I worked. Sometimes I was a student. Mostly I was a mom. I am still a mom. It is what I do with the bulk of my day. When my children are not with me I feel weird. I do not feel fully at ease when they are not in their beds at night. Being sick from chemo is a huge inconvenience to me. It cuts into my mom time. I lay in bed after treatment and hope and pray that it will be a short break. I actually miss being around them when I don’t feel well. I look forward to playing and hanging out.

I also go through the trials of parenthood as well. Sometimes they get too loud. Or they decide to ignore me. Sometimes they blame everyone and everything for their problems. Sometimes they refuse to accept “no” for an answer. When I feel good I can meet these challenges with love and patience. When my patience has worn thin from a cocktail of chemo, lupron, and steroids I am less than capable of the task.That bums me out. I feel like it is very important that my children feel loved and nurtured. When I don’t have it in me I feel like a failure. I judge myself so harshly. I feel like if my time is limited I need to be the best mom every day. I pray for that. I want to be super mom. Instead I am punk rock mom. I scream. I sweat. I love them. I am a mess. I am human here me cry. No strength. No bravery. Parenting its a dirty job….good thing I like dirt.

They teach me a lot about forgiveness. And fun. And unconditional love. I like them. They are my favorite people. They like what I like and they are nice to me, even when I am a jerk. I am a lucky mom.

I love you all….Alec Dylan, Jesse Wayne, Tucker James, Asa Spades, Bailey Elizabeth, and Clayton Michael. Thank you all for giving me the best job I ever had.

8 Responses to “Punk Rock Mommy”

  1. Cindy Del Vecchio says:

    The picture is of done-with-chemo Andrea, with newly grown, luxurious, streaked hair, and recently reconstructed, not-quite-so-big-but-nicely-perky-cancer-free breasts.

  2. Mary Holleger says:

    Andrea, just listened to your interview with Dr. Dan– GREAT! You were so poised and eloquent, as always. Just wanted to let you know how well you did, and how proud of you I was.

    Also– since when do you have t-shirts? I guess I’m not up to snuff here because I certainly didn’t know! I want one! I don’t know who the picture of that lady is (don’t blame me, I was a sheltered child… LOL) but I will buy one from you. What do they say, punk rock mommy?

  3. Dina says:

    It looks like you in that picture, doesn’t it? I took the quiz. Apparently, I am an Earth Mommy. This does not explain, however, why my two year old’s favorite new word is F**K. I was so impressed with your son’s writing the other day. Amazing stuff. I was thinking that even cancer isn’t immune from what others are going to think, feel, and preach to you. And really, when you get right down to it, how does what others think truly affect us? We can’t change it, but it also does not have to change us in the process. Have a splendid day 🙂

  4. Alys says:

    It is either Perlita Luisa “Maggie” Chascarrillo or Esperanza Leticia “Hopey” Glass of LOVE AND ROCKETS by Gilbert Hernandez and Jaime Hernandez! I can’t remember which was which….probably Hopey.

    xoxoxxo

  5. Wendy says:

    Apparently I am a Laissez-Faire Mom! That was fun. Being a mom is a tough job- no matter what kind of mom you are. You are doing a great job.

  6. leann says:

    you are amazing and your kids are amazing.

  7. Heather says:

    I too got the Punk Rock Mommy. I agree with the main focus of morals on your children. You have to also teach them to stand out and stand on their own. Just because you believe differently or feel differently than others, doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it means you’re your own person.
    I am a mom through and through, so much so that I can’t go out by myself anywhere other than the bookstore or coffee shop, because I don’t know what to do. Once you have kids, they are your life.
    You are an inspiring and wonderful person, Andrea. I want to be like you when I grow up.
    Oh and the picture is “Maggie” from the Love and Rockets comics by Gilbert Hernandez. I love the punk aspects!

  8. Casey says:

    Hey Andrea,

    We’ve never met but a friend passed your link on to me. To say that you’re an inspiration would be an understatement. I just wanted to say hello, and thanks for sharing so much with so many. Also, and I mean this from the bottom of my music-loving heart: Asa Spades is pretty much the most brilliant name ever. Your kids are so fortunate to have such a smart, funny, thoughtful Mom – who also has such great taste in kid-naming, all the way across the board! 😉