Under the weather

cough-germs.jpg

Germs. They are a funny thing, no? Some give you viral infections. Some give you bacterial infections. Both make you sick. I have been sick since Monday. I have an off and on fever…sort of low gradeish I think. I am coughing really hard, which is giving me a headache and stomachache. I laid on the couch for three days and just slept. If I eat I feel worse. I called my doctors of course. They really wanted me to come in. I understand. They have to be really careful that I do not get any kind of infection. They are very concerned. I have no real way of fighting off infection. White blood cells do that, and I don’t have enough of them. I actually felt pretty sick last week as well. I am tired a lot. But I can usually balance it with a fair amount of activity.

And everyone I know is sick too. Germs. I think I feel a bit of comfort in knowing that everyone I know is sick too. We are all laying on our respective couches groaning about our sinus headaches and sore throats. I guess though you all are not so afraid of your cold. I am a bit afraid of mine. I wonder how a person with a depressed immune system gets over a cold. Anyone want to explain that to me feel free. In the meantime I will be on the couch hacking.

Tomorrow I will likely have my 3rd dose of navelbine. If I am well enough. I really am looking forward to it. Okay this is a weird thing about cancer, even though your treatments make you feel sick, you really want them because they kill your cancer. Its a strange love/hate relationship. So I hope I get it so my cancer will stop spreading. Jon O is supposed to meet us at chemo tomorrow too. He’s going to take photos. He hasn’t taken any in a long time because he decided to go to grad school… geez! I’m kidding. I have missed him though. Yesterday, he stopped by while I was asleep on the couch and made my kids tuna melts. I think they conned him into it…but I was too sick to object.

I will get my results from my MRI tomorrow as well. I am hoping for some good news. Although every time I get a report it is bad news. I need some good news. I need a little hope. I just keep praying Lord please don’t let this be my last Christmas. I am not ready to leave these kids yet. I cry like a baby some nights. Last night actually. Fear. I usually have none. I am at peace, I have acceptance,I am a good Christian. Last night I begged God to let me have more time. Kelly held me for a long time. He said he was glad that I was crying. Mostly because my acceptance is a little eerie. A little too blissful maybe. He wants to know that I am fighting to live too. And I am. I am fighting from the couch. Coughing my brains out. Or crying in my bed like a baby. This is me fighting in the fetal position.

And the blessings. There are many. So many. And I do not dare talk about the cancer /the beast without talking about all the good stuff. Those lovely kids in Cherry Hill raised a lot of money for our family. It was very impressive. And Dina is amazing for organizing everything. I am touched by the constant flow of love and generosity that people continue to show us. Praise God. I have no idea what I did to deserve this. (I feel that way about the cancer sometimes too)

When we are all free of germs and sickness we should meet up and say hello. You should stop by next week when my children are home from school. You should call me and drop in on Christmas day. I will try hard to make sure there is food for you. And Tamara is giving me some masks and gloves that I can wear to arm myself against the germs. See you soon…in the cold medicine aisle of CVS.

10 Responses to “Under the weather”

  1. leah says:

    yes it seems EVERYONE is sick my boys, me everyone i talk to.
    i hope you feel better, you have so much on your plate to deal with, and then comes the cold, ugh.
    i’m praying that you get good news from your MRI.
    i miss you i can’t wait till we are all better so we can hang out again.
    ~leah

  2. alaina says:

    Andrea,

    I love you! Reading your posts, sometimes I sit here and cry. You have a way with words and I feel so much for you, I can feel it! I can feel hope too. I pray that your news is good news because that will give you the boost you need now. Marc says after the holidays sometime we are going to come visit you. I hope you are up to it ; ) It may not be until Feb but we will figure it out. I think of you every single day. I feel like you are my soul sister. I hope you feel better soon~ alaina

  3. Honey, you need a PO Box so people can send you gift cards and such! (It’s a little late, I wish I had thought of it two months ago!) I know that there are people who can’t go to the fund raisers who would like to contribute to your family, especially around the holidays!
    Good luck fighting the cold, I think I’m getting strep again, remember I used to get it like three times a year, my little virus magnate brings me all sorts of gifts from daycare!

    I’ll call this weekend, but Happy Christmas! Merry New Year! Oh, and Eew, we have a couple birthdays coming up!

    I love you! Amy

  4. Andrea says:

    Our address for anyone who needs it or wants it to send us a few happy Christmas cards is 2623 Sepviva Street Phila, Pa 19125

  5. Andrea says:

    We need meals next week. the 27th and 29th. I think I can cover the rest of the week. I bought a nice dinner for Christmas day. Any one up for it?

  6. molly says:

    trying to post again… i’m molly (a friend of heathe & bryan from bicycle revolutions)… can me & the husband drop off dinner on the 29th? take care!

  7. nay says:

    hey babe,
    i just emailed you before i got on the blog, we’ll be up on the eve of the 27th. i’m up for feeding the crew on the 29th, at ori’s if he’s cool w/it or i’ll just drop it off. should i bring my own mask? gas mask? ventilator? anything you need to comfort you, (besides my self) let me know.
    if you’re too sick to see me, that’s okay. i’ll take all the children away and love on them instead.

  8. You are so eloquent in the way you talk about everything. It is very inspiring. I know I say that over and over again. but good people have good things happen to them and it’s no surprise the amount of love and support you receive because your good people. I hope you and your family have a great Holiday. Best wishes for a happy and healthy new year.

  9. joshua says:

    mmmmm….germy melts

  10. Dearest Andrea,I had no idea of your ordeal.It saddens me deeply.Want to get the Dogs or maybe Brown Sugar (blk Stones band)to play for you and yours.holla back ,stay well ,stay sweet I love you !! K.L.