My last blog

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If you are reading this, it means I have passed. I decided to put some final thoughts together in the hope that it will be of comfort to my friends and family. But also to those of you I never met but who felt a connection to me through this blog.

Blog. I hate that word. It is so silly and trivial. I thought of this as an online journal. One designed to keep my loved ones aware of what was happening to me. I wrote as honestly as I was able. I have looked at many older entries and realized that my feelings about death, dying, and cancer changed as I grew more sick. While I never feared death I often feared treatment.

Cancer treatment is hard. Really hard. The chemo, scans, medications…it is physically daunting. I was willing to subject myself to it all to have even a little more time with my husband,children,and loved ones. It was worth it. I would say that I packed a lot of living into that year while I was dying. I was still me. I was still engaged with my friends. I still was able to love and be here for all of them when they needed me. I still changed diapers and played games. Kelly and I fought like a married couple and loved like one too.

I learned a lot over the year that I battled this dreaded disease. I learned that it is not in our best interest to hold out expectations to God. He is not Santa Clause. He does what is right and good. This was my path. My journey in this world was difficult and painful but important in my spiritual growth. I learned that we have to be happy despite our circumstances. We can’t say I will be happy when…. No sweeties be happy now because today is all you have.

I learned that all the small stuff is very small and not worth your time and attention. Gossip and resentments,worrying about things that never happen, fearing the unknown. Let it go my lovelies, breath and just be good to each other. I realized not long after my diagnosis that life is too short to spend it hurting people and holding onto the anger we have for those around us. I am no doormat, but I just let go of all that hard core resentment. God forgives us through the blood of His Son. He forgives those who hurt us as well.

I am sure that some of you are profoundly saddened by my passing. Death is far more about the living than the dead. But I believe in my whole heart that this is what was meant to be for us all. My friends rallied around us and supported us in every way imaginable. What an incredible gift. That was a lesson in selflessness for them. And in acceptance for my family. My children have many wonderful people to rely on. Their father, step father, grandparents, and friends. I have no doubt that they will be devastated. But in time these wounds will heal and reveal themselves to be battle scars that serve as a testimony to their inner fortitude. My children will move mountains.

Kelly wants to keep the journey going. He intends to chronicle about their lives without me. About the loss and the recovery from tragedy. Maybe you will all be as uplifted and comforted by his words as well. My children will write too, sharing their experience. Thank you all for participating in my life. For providing sweet words of encouragement and prayer. I pray that none of you will ever get cancer, it sucks. But if you do or someone you love does I pray some of my words are a comfort to you all. Have a wonderful life. I will have a wonderful afterlife.

Andrea Collins Smith

171 Responses to “My last blog”

  1. Ruthie says:

    Dear Kelly and all of Andrea’s Beautiful children,
    May you be comforted in this time of extreme loss. I pray that your wife’s and your mother’s words to you and memories of her will bring comfort, and in time, healing. We will all still be here to listen to you, if you chose to continue this blog. My deepest sympathy…I can’t even collect my thoughts at this time….I am just so very sorry.
    Ruthie from California

  2. Lin says:

    If we were all like angels, the world would be a heavenly place.
    Rest in Peace Our Angel of Light…

  3. Ruthie says:

    Andrea,
    I know that you are no longer here on earth suffering in the flesh; I am going to thank God that you are no longer suffering and that you are in Heaven doing what you were initially and ultimately created for…to be with God and enjoy Him forever! Thank you for the eternal lessons you taught by being yourself and by being honest and transparent enough to share yourself with all of us. I am crying while I type this. Kelly and kids, we are all crying with you; I can only imagine the the depth of sorrow you are all experiencing. I hope and pray that it helps to know that there are others who want to show you that they care and want to support you, pray for you, lift you up, and encourage you in the days, weeks, months and years to come.
    Sincerely, again,
    Ruthie Graham from California

  4. Dina Leah says:

    Oh Andrea…..How many hearts you touched. Sweet Child of G-d, You are home. Peace dear one, Peace…

    Sad, sad does not even begin to describe how so many feel knowing all the pain and suffering you had to experience.

    Today hearts today are broken, yet they hold you, sweet, sweet Andrea.

    Kelly, Prayers surround you and the children….Close your eyes and allow yourself to feel all that beautiful energy sent your way, with so much love.

    Andrea’s Angels……What incredible people you are. Andrea was so blessed in having such a strong and loving support team.

    I am so sorry.

    Dina Leah

  5. Crystal says:

    You all have my deepest sympathies 🙁

  6. Julie says:

    Kelly and kids. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. I don’t need to tell you how incredible your wife/mom was or how the world is a much better place because she was in it. You are her legacy. We all are.

    I love you all. You are in my heart and prayers.

  7. Heather Goldberg says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey, Andrea. I hope you are now truly at peace.

    To Andrea’s family: I am so, so very sorry.

  8. elissa says:

    My heart goes out to Kelly and those beautiful children. I am so sorry for your lose.

  9. Julie Too says:

    Oh no! I’m so very sorry. I was touched by her journal and will check in periodically to see how y’all are doing. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m deeply saddened though I never knew her.

    May God bless those of you who remain behind.

  10. Gin says:

    I’m sorry for your loss, your great amazing loss of a wife and mother, friend and confident. I pray peace will find you through your healing.

    I’m saddened for you for your loss, but appreciative of having gotten to know you through your journey.

  11. Deb says:

    This was the entry I was so afraid to finally see.
    My heart goes out to you for I know how you feel; I lost my mom last year. I hope Andrea was not in too much pain at the very end–thank goodness for the wonder of pharmaceuticals; I hope they came through for her. But how fitting she should pass on or near Independence Day, for now SHE is FREE of the horrible disease that invaded her and the accompanying pain.
    I know it may sound trite, but love, prayers and truly heartfelt condolences to her kids, her wonderful husband and her friends.
    Deb in AZ

  12. ” But in time these wounds will heal and reveal themselves to be battle scars that serve as a testimony to their inner fortitude. My children will move mountains.”

    AND THEY SHALL CARVE A PATH STREWN WITH PRECIOUS MOMENTS OF REMEMBRANCE ON WHICH TO BUILD THEIR TOMORROWS.

    GOD BLESS MY FRIEND AND GODSPEED. YOU WERE SO LOVED AND SO CHERISHED.

    YOU DONE GOOD GIRL !

  13. Mama DB says:

    My heart goes out to you guys, Kelly & kids. Andrea was an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing this journey.

  14. Jeanine says:

    Kelly and kids –
    Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Your wife and mother was an amazing example to all of us, and I cannot even begin to imagine your loss.

    Andrea – thank you for sharing your life and your journey to the next one. You have taught me much. We grieve for your family, but we’re happy that you are now in the place where there is no more pain and sorrow.

    Jeanine

  15. diane says:

    We, strangers and friends alike, have learned so much from you…bravery, eloquence, love, anger, acceptance.

    I will pray that your family will lean on each other to get through this trying time. Know that you will live on in the hearts of those strangers and friends, and most of all your loving husband and children.

    Ya done good Andrea.

  16. AnneMarie says:

    My stomach lurched when I saw this entry. Kelly and family I am so so sorry for your loss. I pray she passed peacefully. She was beautiful inside and out.

  17. Brian says:

    Dear Kelly and Kids,

    It’s hard to imagine the depth of loss you all are feeling right now. Please know how greatly you and family are loved by Mom and myself. Wishing you all much peace in this hardest of times.

    Call when able, I Love You.

    Pop

  18. Heather says:

    Kelly, Alec, Jesse, Tucker, Asa, Bailey, and Clay,
    I was so very sad to see this post today…my heart is breaking for you. Sending peaceful thoughts your way.

  19. Cindy says:

    As always, beautifully said.

  20. NYGrrrl says:

    And I am sitting on the floor of my kitchen, crying for a woman I never met & too recently found – a woman who did more to help me heal after my mother’s death than 2 years of friends and therapy… a woman who taught me about how I want to parent and live and die. To Kelly & Kids & all of Andrea’s friends — may God bless you & give you strength in the days & months to come. Your Andrea was an angel to me and I thank God for letting me “meet” her — and I thank all of you for allowing so many strangers into your lives. I’ll be running in the Komen race on September 14th in honor of my mom… and of Andrea. I am so, so sorry that she is gone.
    love, Sally

  21. Maura says:

    Dear kelly & Family
    As a lurker I can’t imagine the deepth of your loss. I am sitting here bawling and feeling that I personally know each of you and yet still can’t imagine how you all must be feeling.
    Keeping Andrea’s blog alive will be a futher tribute to her.
    Please know that neither Andrea nor any of you will EVER be forgotten.
    Wishing you all peaceful thoughts at this the most difficult time in your lives.

  22. cheryl says:

    may peace be in your house today.

  23. leah (toni G's daughter) says:

    God bless all of you. I just wanted to let you know that meeting Andrea just that once had a profound effect on my life. I was so moved by her and all of you kids. You’re all extraordinary, and on this day all of our hearts weep with yours.

    Andrea was truly special. Her presence in my family’s lives, in my mother Toni G’s life and in mine has helped us in our journey with cancer with our beloved Shep. She handled it with such nobility, honesty and with a deep affirmation of life. Thank you all. Thank you Andrea.

    Leah Alperin

  24. Ed says:

    To Andrea,
    I only knew you for a year. I have learned so much about living from you. What I have learned, I will put into the service of others.

    Kelly,
    Most of my efforts went towards Andrea. You have shown yourself to be an amazing person. I wish it had been under different circumstances; I’m glad I met you. You will have a hard road ahead.

    The Kids,
    From the little time I spent with any of you, I can see the incredible job your mom did with each of you. I cannot even begin to imagine your pain at her loss. My heart and thoughts are with you.

    To The Cast of Characters in the Final Act of The Life of Andrea,
    I have just been in awe of those of you who rose up and helped Andrea in this last year. The kindness, love, and caring have been heart warming to observe. Thanks to all those who drove her to Glenside and helped care for her in so many ways

    Ed

  25. debi says:

    What words are left to say? When I saw the title of this post I thought it meant Andrea was now too ill to post. I knew I would be sad but I am shocked at my total grief. I am calling all my friends who pray. To pray for you all to be comforted in this sad sad time. Her final words to us were loving and honest. She may never know just how many she reached and helped. But then again maybe she does.I hope you can feel the arms of love that come to you all through this screen. I will never forget Andrea. love, debi

  26. SueK says:

    Kelly and family,

    I am so sorry for the loss of a beautiful, loving wife/mother/friend. She was truly inspirational. I love the line that she wrote “My children will move mountains.” There is no doubt about it.

    I too am crying for you. I wish you all peace and happy thoughts of Andrea.

    Love,
    Sue

  27. God bless all of you. I only met Andrea once and I was deeply touched by her and all you kids. You all are extraordinary. Today our hearts weep with yours.

    Her presence in my family’s life, my mom toni g’s and mine has been very profound, especially since our beloved Shep was diagnosed with cancer.

    Andrea handled this journey she was dealt with such nobility, honesty and her final words will stay in my heart for a long time. Thank you for sharing your extraordinary family with all of us. Thank you Andrea. Thank you all.

  28. leah says:

    i am so sorry, please call me if you need anything
    i love you all so much!
    ~leah

  29. Sara says:

    My heart breaks for all of you. What a amazing woman, her strength..I’m sorry. You all are in my prayers.

  30. Donna Arnold says:

    Dear Kelly, Alec, Jesse, Tucker, Asa, Bailey, & Clay:
    I send you all my deepest sympathies and condolences in the loss of Andrea. Thousands of folks all over the world are weeping with you, and so many hearts are grieving for the void she has left!!!!! Know she touched so many souls, hearts, and lives with her spirit, her generosity, her very intimate and private journey with IBC…..she opened her soul and her mind to us all….she gave to us far more than we gave to her….and her illness and death has touched us all…..the light shines a little dimmer in this corner of the world….but I know she is a beautiful and radiant angel…….now whole and free…..you light up the world now, sweet Andrea!!!! May that spirit shine forever….I love you……and I love each of you and your family, Kelly!!!! Celebrate Andrea’s legacy…that is what she would want……..that we should celebrate her life…..what wonderful children you have….and yes, they will move mountains….entire hills….
    I am most happy to hear you will continue her journal….I never liked the word “blog” either…sounded so concrete, so lumped into one post….journal sounds so elegant, with finesse, and with flair…just like Andrea…in her final entry…..she is a very elegant, classy lady!!!!!
    May peace and love continue to surround you all in the next weeks and months as time goes by…know you have a HUGE extended family in all of us who only knew her thru the journal….I am eager to read about life with Andrea…..I am sure it is going to be great reading…..love to you all….Donna in SC
    PS Ditto to Ed’s post….well put, Ed!!! I, too, want to say a warm THANK YOU to all who rallied around her, helped with familial duties, chores, appointments, and all the things they did we do not know about!!!! You are all Andrea’s Angels!!!!

  31. Keith says:

    Goodnight Sweet Princess,you did my Mr Dylan Thomas proud by rage ,rage,raging against the dying of the light even if you went gently into the good night.You were an inspiration to us mortals you left behind.Though I’m sad now as I tearfully write this ,the thought of you looking down on me from the other side of the veil makes my aortic circumference soar like a hawk. You will be missed. With love and affection K.L. Diablo

  32. jenny says:

    What an amazingly brave and beautiful person- if ever someone has shown people what it means to be true to oneself, to live her faith, and to really show her love and appreciation for life and the blessings she’s been given, it was Andrea. So often we are shielded from death and isolate those who are nearing death- Andrea has shown many people how to pass with grace, acceptance, courage and faith, as it seems she did so many other things including bringing her children into the world. I will think of her when I face difficulties in my life as an example.
    I lost my mom a few years ago to cancer, and I know that the loss is pretty unbearable, but a relief at the same time to know that someone you love so much is not suffering anymore. Have her faith, and know that she is still connected to you, just freed from her body. I hope that you all feel supported through your loss. You are all an inspiration,
    love, Jen

  33. Lulu says:

    Shit F*ck bollocks. Sorry for swearing but I can’t think what else to say. Lx

  34. Molly says:

    I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, Kelly and kids. Thank you for sharing this journey with us – you remind me every day how precious life really is. I will be praying for you in the coming days and weeks.

  35. deezee says:

    Kelly and kids, my heart goes out to you….

  36. Meg says:

    Kelly and kids, my prayer goes out to you all. (((hugs)))

  37. elesha says:

    My head wentn dizzy as I read this post. Im so sad just days ago posting so proudly of your son. To sad. What a wonderful persone to do what you have done with this blog. You allowed us into your life and your familys lifes to. You were seeing movies and houses just days ago you lived life to the fullest writte to the end. God just got one heck of an angle
    Elesha

  38. Nat says:

    Kelly and the gang,

    Your mother was an amazing woman, and I feel blessed to have been able to share in her journey. May you find comfort in the beautiful person that she was, and in each other.

    Much love.

  39. Sara says:

    Although I read this blog often, I’ve never posted before. Like others, this was the entry I was dreading. My thoughts are with Andrea’s family, and I’ll continue to follow this journey as long as it lasts. *hugs*

  40. Jodie says:

    There just aren’t words.

    What a legacy, to have touched so many people, yet never to have ‘met’.

    Dear, sweet, precious children. How you were loved, *are* loved, by the most amazing Mother. This will be hard, no doubt, lean on each other, and please, lean on us when and if it will help.

    Kelly, please accept my sincerest condolences and sympathy. I, too, look forward to your continuing of the journal and having the opportunity to know Andrea more. Your devotion and love for your wife is just so apparent in your writing.

    Thank you, all, for sharing her with us. Take care.

  41. larue miller says:

    Thank God Andrea is healed. I will continue to pray to God for the healing and comfort for Kelly and for Andrea’s amazing children. As I read the posts to this final entry the word legacy keeps coming up and that’s exactly what my husband said when I told him of Andrea’s passing. Her children are her living legacy and this online journal is ours.
    I pray for comfort for all of Andrea’s incredible entourage who did the most amazing things for her & the family this past year. I know how sad I feel, I cannot imagine how you feel.
    Kelly, the fact that you want to keep this thing going is a true testament to her memory for all of us “strangers” have come to love you and the children as if we knew you. I hope you have comfort from keeping us informed on your future.
    Love and prayers to all

  42. Tamara says:

    “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
    “Oh, you ca’n’t help that,” said the cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
    “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
    “You must be,” said the cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

  43. sara says:

    Thank you for sharing your life with us, it has meant so much to so many.

  44. Another Andrea says:

    I first read this post about 3 hours ago, and I really cannot get over the news. I am so sad. I have followed Andrea’s story for an entire year now. I checked the blog daily- always eager to hear from her about how she and her amazing family were doing. Somehow I always believed that this remarkable woman would defy the odds, and she would beat this terrible disease. Even as she told us that she was deteriorating, I hoped it would be temporary. She was always so amazingly vibrant and brimming with life I didn’t think it would be able to slip away from her. I am so sad that I was wrong. She truly was an astounding woman. I will miss her. I am sorry for the terrible loss for Kelly and the kids. I know that Andrea will always be with you, even if she had to let go of her sick body. I wish you all peace.

  45. m says:

    Deepest sympathies from a relatively new reader who was deeply touched by Andrea’s story and words. Her suffering is done, and she lives on in all of you who loved her. My thoughts are with you.

  46. Amanda says:

    Kelly,
    Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us. I know your heart is broken. Just remember she is smiling down on you and holding a spot for you.
    Prayers to you and the little ones.

  47. Tricia says:

    My deepest sympathies to Kelly and the lovely, talented, beautiful, kids who Andrea loved so deeply and well. I am a better person for having “known” you all. I look forward to reading more about you and your lives. But first healing. Healing.

    Much love to you.

    Tricia

  48. Patricia Webster says:

    The world lost a beautiful soul today, and God got his punk rock angel.

    Rest in peace sweet Andrea.

    My prayers and condolences go out to Kelly, the Children and Andrea’s Angel squad. What a gift she left all of you, her undying love.

  49. Elaina says:

    Dear Kelly and family,

    Words can not express how deeply saddened I am to learn of lovely Andrea’s passing. Her words and spirit will certainly live on forever…as will her love in all of you. Thank you for sharing your wife and mother with all of us. She has touched so many lives and hearts. I know that I will appreciate my own life even more because of Andrea. I pray for your peace and comfort during this most difficult time. I am so, so, so sorry for your loss. I know that her light will live on in the spirits of many, most especially the family she loved so much.

    Blessings.

  50. In this darkest hour, please accept this poem I have cherished with hopes it may bring some comfort to this most tragic day.

    I’M FREE

    Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
    I’m following the path God laid for me.
    I took His hand when I heard him call;
    I turned my back and left it all.

    I could not stay another day,
    To laugh, to love, to work or play.
    Tasks left undone must stay that way;
    I found that place at the close of day.

    If my parting las left a void,
    Then fill it with remembered joy.
    A friendship shared a laugh, a kiss;
    Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.

    Be not burdened with times of sorrow
    I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
    My life’s been full, I savored much;
    Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.

    Perhaps my time seems all to brief;
    Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
    Lift up your heart and share with me,
    God wanted me now, He set me free.
    ~Author: Linda Jo Jackson

    With Deepest Sympathy, Richelle Teeters

  51. lara says:

    andrea-it was an honor to know you. your body may be gone now, but your spirit will never die, through your children, your husband, your friends, and those of us whom you reached out to through your writings. may you find the deepest of joy on the journey ahead…

  52. Meredith says:

    Andrea
    I feel blessed to have had this glimpse into the last year of your spiritual journey. Thank you for your gift of sharing this journal with all of us. (I also picked up a few parenting tips and thought to myself “What would Andrea do?” as I was dealing with my teenager today:)

    Kelly, my heart goes out to you and the kids. Take as much time as you need to heal on this part of your spiritual journeys.

    Rest in Peace Andrea.

  53. Pamela says:

    Kelly and kids,
    I am so sorry sounds so trite, but it is true. You will all be in my prayers for a long time. Thanks for allowing us to be a small part of Andrea’s journey. Her journey has not ended, but has only just begun, someday i will meet this beautiful woman that i consider my friend, even though i never met her face to face. I love every one of you, i have often wanted to help out, but all i could do was pray….if you ever want a getaway in central PA (amish, cows, farms, whoop-dee-do!) let me know! We are brothers and sisters in Christ, and part of the same family.
    many, many prayers, and much love,
    pam and her hubby and 6 kids

  54. Kim says:

    Andrea’s life has touched mine in an unimaginable way… yet we never once met. What a spectacular woman, mother and wife.

    Peace, love and prayers are sent your way tonight. Thank you for sharing this incredible journey.

  55. Lisa in Aus says:

    Like so many people here, Andrea has touched my life too. Best wishes to Kelly and Family.

    So many beautiful words have been already said.

    Thank you for sharing the last bits of your life with us.

  56. Randi says:

    For the brief time I knew her, Andrea’s words touched my life, the way they did for many others.

    I logged on today and, for some reason, it seemed to take a long time to load. I knew then that she was gone from this world.

    Kelly – may you find peace and the strength you need to continue going on.

    Children – may you always remember the good about your mother.

    Andrea – may you have a beautiful afterlife.

  57. lizz says:

    Andrea,

    i know you won’t read this… but i love you so much, and just need to say a few things.

    I know that I’ve told you a million times how thankful i am to be a part of your family, but I’m going to tell you one last time… i feel so blessed to have spent these last few months with you, but especially the last few weeks… to have been on your “very short list”. i don’t know what i have done to deserve this, but thank you, thank you, thank you. You have changed my life forever.

    People have asked me recently if i realize how deep this is? If I understand just what i am “getting myself into”? The choices that i am making now, are forever connecting myself to these children, this “family”, am I prepared for that… And I definitely get it, i know, and theres is no doubt in my mind that that i am on the right path. I am completely invested, indefinitely, i am in love… I am hooked, adopted, your children rule my world. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    I’m so glad we got to sit outside together yesterday and talk… just for a bit, hold hands, love on each other. You looked beautiful. This is how i will remember you.

    The kids are sad today, but ok… they’re strong, stronger than me, Jen and Ruthie were. We all kinda broke down on the street this mourning when we got the news, out front of greensgrow, I’m sure we looked a mess…

    We all spent the day at Shaynas house, “distracting”, playing Wii, reading. crying, hugging, reflecting, telling stories, thinking about the future. The family was together, where we needed to be… I asked Bailey If she needed anything, she just looked at me and said “my mom.” I just hugged her, cried and said “Me too baby, we all need her.” … God, she looks so much like you…

    My pretty girl, “Andrea with the Kids” I love you so much.

  58. HeatherK says:

    I’ll miss your voice, Andrea. So looking forward to hearing the voices of your husband and wonderful children carry on your legacy. They will do amazing things, I’m sure of it.

  59. Urban Mama says:

    I have only been following Andrea’s blog since a friend posted about her a few weeks ago, but in that time I’ve read almost every entry and seen every photo featured here. My 66-year-old mother is dying of cancer, so Andrea’s perspective and her journey was incredibly meaningful to me. It’s so clear what an amazing woman, devoted mother and loving wife she was, and you are all blessed to have had her for a wife, mother and friend. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to read her words and see her pictures. She was and continues to be an inspiration.

    Peace and love, Sandie

  60. Morgan says:

    Praying for peace and eventual healing for all of Andrea’s family and “family”.
    Thankful for her peace now.
    Thankful for Ruthie’s call.
    Thankful to Kelly for my pink and black star.
    Thankful to Andrea for lessons learned.

  61. flutter says:

    Kelly, we will all be here for you and yours.

  62. Stacy says:

    Dear Kelly and kids,

    I just discovered your website through my friend. In such a short time, Andrea touched my life with her words, her faith, and her obvious love for her family. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I will pray for you all.

    This was a wonderful letter that Andrea wrote. What a gift that she was able to write it and have such an impact on even the people she never knew in this life. I know she is roaming heaven with smiles and laughter right at this very moment. She is your angel, always near and dear to your hearts. May God bless you all. What a wonderful family you guys are!

    Hugs to each of you,
    Stacy

  63. elesha says:

    worrying about things that never happen,. fearing the unknown let it go my lovelies.

    I will take those words with me forever.
    Elesha

  64. jenni bender says:

    andrea, i love you so dearly. you have touched my life in a way no one else has and i miss you so much already. thank you for spending time with me and for loving me. i promise i will do anything for your kids and for kelly. please rest easy in peace with God and hug my father for me. i love you baby.

  65. imstell says:

    Good bye my friend. I am sorry I could not meet you here on Earth but look forward to a laugh or two when we meet in Heaven. Godspeed.

    Kelly & Kids, cling together and be strong. Big Cyber hugs.

    Stella

  66. […] She passed away this morning with her family close by her side. She has left us with some parting words of wisdom, […]

  67. Erin Cloud says:

    Andrea,

    My heart tells me that you are with me while I write this. Lizz couldn’t have put it more beautifully, the words that we all want to say to you.

    Thank you.

    You and your family have so warmly welcomed me into your home, and it has been a blessing being a part of your lives. I did my part in staying distant the last couple of weeks so that you all had time together. It was hard to stay away because I have missed you so much already. Thank you for sharing so many stories and moments with me. I remember standing in the rain having a chat during one of Clay’s naps talking about Portland. When I go, Andrea, I will remember to go to that coffee shop near the bridge that you loved so much. You have taught me, as a young single woman, all about the wonderful things I have to look forward to as I grow up and become a mother and a wife. You have shared so much of your wisdom with me and I will be forever grateful.

    Thank you for being you. I find some comfort tonight knowing that you are at peace. You are in my heart forever, when I think of you I will think of that smile and how your laugh always warmed the entire room. I love you.

    Erin

  68. Des says:

    My heart goes out to your family Andrea, I imagine you will be missed incredibly and that your spirit will live on through them.

    I lost my Mom to breast cancer 2 weeks ago so I know the pain you are feeling, may there be comfort for you in knowing that many others (unfortunately) understand and share the same pain.

    D.

  69. […] her last post: “I learned a lot over the year that I battled this dreaded disease. I learned that it is not […]

  70. Elisabeth says:

    +†+

  71. Andrea’s Dear Family,
    I’m so sorry that you’re suffering now, but I imagine how relieved you are that she is not. She is a tower, and her kids will move mountains, because of the legacy she gave them and their wonderful father.
    Andrea: Thank you for sharing yourself with us, you are a gift to the world and you will be missed. The picture of you and Clay is amazingly beautiful…that little face is so like yours.
    Love,
    Lindsay

  72. Even in death, you have maintained a grace about yourself that is capable of offering comfort to others. What a lovely soul. Rest in peace and with the knowledge that you touched so many lives.

    My prayers to all of Andrea’s children, husband, and other loved ones.

  73. […] the blogging community with some very poignant words of wisdom. So for today I direct you to that post in her memory. Rest in peace Andrea and keep on […]

  74. Judy says:

    I am so very sorry for Kelly and kids and other loved ones left behind. Although I didn’t know Andrea well, I see a beautiful person, one who will be incredibly missed here on earth.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to all of Andreas loved ones during this difficult time. Andrea is now an angel looking down over you. I hope that gives you some measure of solace during these grief-stricken days.

  75. […] Andrea AKA Punk Rock Mommy, passed away this morning from Inflammatory Breast Cancer. She left some final words of wisdom in her […]

  76. Michelle Wienke says:

    Kelly, Alec, Jesse, Tucker, Asa, Bailey, Clay, and friends-

    I am so sorry to have read Andrea’s beautiful post this morning. I have been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, especially during these last few weeks, and will continue to for a long time to come. I am so sorry that you have lost Andrea, but also joyful that she is now in Heaven, pain free, and able to keep an eye on all of us. She is truly one angel who will shake things up, up there!

    Is it possible for you to give us your street address? I would like to send a card to all of you-something tangible for the kids to keep-this has been an incredible journey, although I wouldn’t have wished it on an enemy, Andrea handled this last year with Grace and Sweetness, and I am so much better for having read her blog this past year.

    My heart will continue to break for all of you, my thoughts and prayers will stay with you, and I will continue to check in with your blog to be sure that God continues to watch over all of you. As I have said before, and it may not seem like it now, this past year of sweetness and goodbyes has been a true gift, for all of you, and for all of us.

    Andrea was an extraordinary woman, and my life will be forever altered by having been privileged to have been able to get to know her through this blog.

    If you can publish an address, I would like to send a card also.

    May God continue to be with each and every one of you-you let her remain home and cared for her, a true gift for Andrea, and for all of you!

    I love you all!
    Michelle

  77. Debbie says:

    Peace and sympathy to all of you. What Andrea shared with us made us all better people and allowed me to be happier in the moment as we never know when that moment will end. Thank you for sharing. It is a great loss but her words and writing will live on.

  78. Sarah S. says:

    Your family is in my prayers. My heart aches for you. I never met Andrea but she has infulenced my life in a big way. God bless her in her new journey.

  79. there is no way that i can properly convey how saddened i was to read that andrea has past. i am so very sorry for your loss.

  80. Renee Khan says:

    Rest in Peace Andrea.

    Love Renee

  81. […] Posted by Laura on July 6, 2008 Rest in peace, Andrea. […]

  82. deb says:

    Warm thoughts and prayers for you and the children.

  83. Mike K says:

    Peace and Love to you Andrea. My eyes and heart weep for you. I pray you are at rest and your family finds peace. Your courage and strength through this will stay with me forever.

  84. D-D Reeder says:

    Alec, Jessie, Tucker, Asa, and Bailey… I haven’t seen you guys in years but my heart goes out to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Much love to you,
    D-D

  85. Jan Webster says:

    We are coming to Philadelphia, my 16 year old son and I, to walk the 3 Day in October. We will walk and remember Andrea, all 60 miles. If you would like to post a sign and her photo, we would be honored.

    I would love if you would sign our guestbook when things are better on the website, I’ll be printing this out and carrying it along on all 840 miles of the 3 Day walks this year. I won’t forget Andres story, but I also want to sign her name on the remembrance tent.

    My heart goes out to your family. I am so sorry she did not have the lifetime she deserved

    (((hugs)))

    Jan and Blake Webster
    Ambassadors, The Breast Cancer 3 Day
    Susan G Komen for the Cure

  86. cancervixen says:

    May God shed his grace upon you and give you peace.

  87. girl says:

    Many thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.

  88. jeremy avellino says:

    You’re a class act Andrea, a person owned by God and freed to live and die and live. What a great final post. We love you, and we’ll see you in heaven when its our time. Say hi to everyone there for us.

  89. […] clicking here you can read all of her […]

  90. Jim says:

    While Andrea’s passing has made the Earth a little darker … and all of us a lot sadder – rest assured in the knowledge that Heaven will never be the same now that Andrea’s is in town!!

    Kelly and Kids – you are continually in my thoughts and prayers – I am so sorry.

  91. Jim says:

    While Andrea’s passing has made the Earth a little darker … and all of us a lot sadder – rest assured in the knowledge that Heaven will never be the same now that Andrea is in town!!

    Kelly and Kids – you are continually in my thoughts and prayers – I am so sorry.

  92. jane says:

    Dear Kelly & kids,
    I never knew your mom, but reading these words of hers have already made my life richer. I am going to start reading from now on because your mom said you will move mountains & I believe her.
    My heart goes out to all of you. I pray that you feel the love & support from all us.
    Bless you.

  93. […] I learned that she died.  Her words are as always, eloquent and important.  I didn’t know her except through her […]

  94. s says:

    fare thee well my bright star
    it was a brief brilliant miracle dive
    that which i looked up to and i clung to for dear life
    had to burn itself up just to make itself alive

    and i caught you then in your moment of glory
    your last dramatic scene against a night sky stage
    with a moment so clear that it’s as if you’re still before me
    my once in a lifetime star of an age

    so fare thee well my bright star
    last night the tongues of fire circled me around
    and this strange season of pain will come to pass
    when the healing hands of autumn cool me down

  95. Linda Conley Soffer says:

    Rock on, Andrea.

  96. G. Simons says:

    Dear Kelly, Alec, Jesse, Tucker, Asa, Bailey, and Clay,
    We are so sorry for your loss…your family is in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.

  97. jacquie says:

    rest in peace andrea.

    i pray that god has taken you to the most magical garden and you have become a guardian angel to many children
    my thoughts and prayers are with kelly and your children. i am deeply sorry for your loss

  98. Doreen says:

    Blessings of Peace to Kelly and the children. It was a gift to know Andrea and be a small part of her life this past year. I am greatful for it. I will keep the family in my thoughts and prayers. May Grace and Peace embrace all of you.
    Love,
    Doreen

  99. mandi says:

    much love to all. I only started reading this a couple days ago but have been thinking of you all ever since. I had a horrible feeling that this would be the post I would be reading next time I came to check on how things were going.
    lots of love and hugs to everyone missing Andrea

  100. billy slavin says:

    Kelly and Crew,

    All my love.
    Many many moons ago, Andrea used to bring the crew into the Bean Cafe to say hi. The boys would get behind the counter with me and I would dole out the fortune cookies. Seeing her and the kids was always the highlight of my shift.
    Man, sleep well, Andrea.

    BB

  101. Andrea says:

    You shall all be in my prayers and I am truly sorry for your loss.

    All my love, Andrea

  102. Lotta says:

    Blessings and hugs for your family.

  103. Diane says:

    My heart goes out to your family.
    Rest in peace. You will always be loved.

  104. Robin says:

    My first visit here (coming from a Tweet), and “this” is not what I expected. I guess I had no expectation about what I’d read, I just trusted the two who tweeted the post.

    My heartfelt sympathies to Kelly, the children and the rest of the family. I know this pain you’re experiencing from the inside.

    I’m an adult woman who lost her mother to cancer when my mom was just 38 and I was 9; I lost my grandmother to cancer the following year. I never met my maternal grandmother b/c she died when my mom was a baby (from cancer).

    I hate cancer.

    That being said, it has shaped me into the person I became (I guess, am still becoming). It made me stronger, resilient…and ever-mindful of the brevity of life. I would do anything to have had more time with my mom, to have known her when I was a teen, a college student, newly married…but I’m convinced there was redemption in her death….

    Andrea’s words are precious…I would’ve loved to know her in life, but in her death, I find beauty.

    Praying for your comfort and peace now….

  105. Gift of Green says:

    Good bye, Andrea. Love.

  106. Janie says:

    What a wonderful and selfless thing Andrea did for you, her family and friends. My prayers are with you all and may GOD wrap his loving arms around your family and comfort you.

  107. mikestein says:

    my heart breaks knowing that such a beautiful loving person has left this world.

  108. Adam Zand says:

    I never met Andrea or her family. I only learned about her (and this blog) today through a Twitter post by @QueenofSpain. Still, this “Last blog” post is beautiful, moving and heartfelt.
    I wish Punk Rock Mommy’s family, fans and friends strength and many happy memories (and legacies) of Andrea.
    Time is the only precious commodity that we are given in life.

  109. don juan says:

    first off my heart and prayers go out to kelly and the kids,,andrea you were an amazing person and i am glad to have met you on this journey called life,i remember the fun late night partying and mischief,,im cracking a smile through tear filled eyes,,and i know you are too,,may your memory live on and on!

  110. Mandy says:

    Wow. I just found this today, and wanted to let you know that your family is in my prayers. What a powerful journey, and what an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing this. Take care.

  111. Roads says:

    This is wonderful, and you say so much which is true and so important. And a battle like this is much more won than it is ever lost.

    With love and much admiration from London.

  112. Wendy says:

    An excellent wife, who can find?
    For her worth is far above jewels.
    The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    And he will have no lack of gain.
    She does him good and not evil
    All the days of her life.
    She looks for wool and flax
    And works with her hands in delight.
    She is like merchant ships;
    She brings her food from afar.
    She rises also while it is still night
    And gives food to her household
    And portions to her maidens.
    She considers a field and buys it;
    From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
    She girds herself with strength
    And makes her arms strong.
    She senses that her gain is good;
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
    She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
    And her hands grasp the spindle.
    She extends her hand to the poor,
    And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
    She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
    For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
    She makes coverings for herself;
    Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
    Her husband is known in the gates,
    When he sits among the elders of the land.
    She makes linen garments and sells them,
    And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
    Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    And she smiles at the future.
    She opens her mouth in wisdom,
    And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
    She looks well to the ways of her household,
    And does not eat the bread of idleness.
    Her children rise up and bless her;
    Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
    “Many daughters have done nobly,
    But you excel them all.”
    Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
    But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
    Give her the product of her hands,
    And let her works praise her in the gates. -Proverbs 31:10-31

    Andrea was a woman of noble character. She wasn’t perfect but she owned her imperfections. She mentored and trained. Yelled and controlled. Laughed and loved. Gave in and accepted and taught us how to die gracefully. She was a blessing in my life. I will miss her. Andrea, many have done nobly but you excel them all. Well done.

  113. martymankins says:

    Wow. Touching words and such bravery in the fight against cancer.

    I am surrounded by others that have passed on after a losing battle with some form of cancer. My life’s mother died of breast cancer at 58 (10 years ago). I lost my mom to melanoma just over 2 years ago (at age 83… she fought very hard).

    If there is anything to see after this life, I hope Andrea is there and enjoying no pain and all happiness. If there is nothing there, she is stil at peace with the elements of this universe. Kind and wonderful thoughts going out to her friends and family.

  114. Shoedog says:

    What a wonderful final gift to give all of us to help us remember that life is precious and we should not sweat the small stuff as life is too precious. My wife passed this on to me and I want to go home and make all my kids read it and understand that we can better to each other and to relish our time together. God will be with Kelly and the kids and I am sure he has already blessed you in heaven!

  115. Danielle says:

    What a woman! Loved, Lived, Laughed and Rocked. We should all be so lucky!

    Thanks Be to God, She is healed

  116. […] Reading something like this reminds me that all the drama crap we can and do get worked up over real… Perhaps everyone who is going to BlogHer ‘08 should be required to read this before they go. They should read this one too. Sunday joins older siblings Isabella Jane, 15, and Connor Antony, 13, Nicole’s children with Tom Cruise. […]

  117. Kari says:

    My heart goes out to all of Andrea’s friends. Though I have never had the pleasure of meeting this amazing woman, she has forever touched my life with her story. I know that she is in heaven watching over all of you. You will be in my prayers.

  118. […] p.s.  this is one of the most awesome posts i’ve ever read in my entire life, the bloggess tweeted i… […]

  119. Robin Phoenixville, PA says:

    What a wonderful post. Kelly and family my heart goes out to you. Andrea was clearly a terric person.

    Right before I opened the blog today out of thousands of songs on my playlist the most beautiful song came on, “Midnight Souls Still Remain” by M83 and I knew exactly what I would see here. I will forever remember Andrea when I hear this song.

    My best to all of you.

  120. Amelie says:

    Andrea, you were an amazing woman. You fought this cancer so bravely. I’m sad to know you’re gone. You and your family are in my prayers. I wish you love, support, strength and time to grieve for the coming weeks and months.

  121. HRH says:

    My heart hurts for your family.

  122. MMM says:

    My prayers are with you all.

  123. kgirl says:

    All of my deepest, deepest sympathies to your family. May you find peace and strength.

  124. Houston says:

    Godspeed. Thank you for sharing.

  125. Lisa's Chaos says:

    Seems I discovered this blog a little late but will follow the family. I am a currently surviving cancer and this post touches deep in my heart.

  126. […] upon a time there was a blogger named Punk Rock Mommy, who chronicled her battle with cancer — publicly, and with heartbreaking dignity. I did not […]

  127. […] sidenotes: Jenny twittered the death of Punk Rock Mommy. The blogosphere noticed the death of Tom Disch. The two have in common having a blog which they […]

  128. Julia says:

    Dear Kelly and family,

    I’m so very sorry for your loss and wish you courage and love to go on living.
    My thoughts are with you.

  129. Kathleen says:

    My deepest condolenses to you Kelly and children.
    May you find comfort in knowing how many journal friends Andrea has touched with her words.
    This post has saddened me and so many of her friends on line.
    Take each day and strengthen each other and know Andrea will remain an our hearts always.
    May Andrea rest in peace.

  130. Jayne says:

    “Let it go my lovelies, breath and just be good to each other.”

    Know that her legacy touched this Mom reading her lovely words. My heart breaks for your families loss.

  131. matt says:

    thank you again for sharing the intimate moments with us

  132. Kelly and Kids,
    Best wishes on keeping Andrea’s rock star legacy going.

  133. scott penton says:

    Goodbye Andrea, Blessings and hugs for your family

  134. Danielle says:

    This is my first time here and my heart is aching for your family.

    I wish I had “found” Andrea, this site, sooner.

    Praying for your wounds to turn to battle scars, and for your strength.

  135. To Kelly and the kids: I lost my Dad to Alzheimer’s. It hurt like fuck. So I want to just say that this too, shall pass, and that I’ll be thinking about you and Andrea for long time.

  136. KLF says:

    I found this post, and this blog, through Bob @ Writing Journey. I’m so sorry. My mother passed away from cancer in 2003, on what would have been her 51st birthday.

    My prayers are with Kelly and your children. But wow. I would give anything to have my mom’s thoughts written down like this. This connection is precious.

    Thank you for reminding so many people of all they have to be grateful for.

  137. Meg says:

    My dad died from cancer in 1982, when I was 14 and my sister was 10. How I wish he had written some sort of journal like Andrea’s blog. In 3 weeks, I will be 41 – the same age that he was when he died, and you know what? I am, in fact, moving mountains. And so will your kids. His death really rocked our world, but we continued living, because you can’t NOT keep on going. That experience is so much a part of who I am today.

    RIP Andrea, and Kelly, know that there’s a whole blogosphere out there who will be peeking in on you to see how things are going.

    Godspeed.

  138. Jorge says:

    All my condolences to your family !!!
    was Just a life in this world but a world for her family!!!!
    REST in PEACE

  139. Kelly Summers of Jefferson, Ohio says:

    I too just loss my mother in Jan. ’08 to IBC that came back in her lymphnodes and neck and eventually her brain. We didn’t know it was in her brain until she had a seizure in the hospital and a week later she was gone. She also had the lymphedema in her left arm and a large lump in her neck – just like Andrea.

    I just found your blog site through a bulletin posted on myspace from the Inflammatory Breast Cancer myspace page.

    I cried and cried going through all the blogs and painfully re-living almost to the T what my mother went through. Her battle started in Dec. ’03 and on and off battled until Jan. ’08. Sometimes chemo would work, sometimes it wouldn’t.

    No matter how old you are – it is rough losing a mother. I’m 31 and it is still rough. I was pregnant with my 2nd and due in 6 weeks when my mom passed away. I sooo badly wanted her to meet my beautiful son in person and hold him. She absolutley loved babies.

    I’m glad Andrea had the courage to say that her friends were going to be your kids’ mother figure and that she felt comfortable letting your youngest get close to them before hand.

    My oldest son is 3 and was always real attached to my dad. My mother made the comment that it didn’t bother her because she knew he (my father) would be around longer to enjoy them.

    At least she (Andrea & my mother) is not suffering any longer. She is with her Jesus. Andrea’s truth and point of view is tough to swallow to someone who has no idea what its like going through this whole “C Word” deal. Thank You! Truth is necessary when it comes to IBC…let’s help spread the truth and hopefully save someone else.

    Bless your family Kelly!

  140. Kendrawolf says:

    This is the first post of Andrea’s that I have read. I pray that her life will continue to touch others and bring glory to God’s name.

  141. Paul Spina says:

    Dear Kelly, boys, and the lovely Bailey,

    Andrea has been an inspiration to us all – please continue to carry the torch with honor and dignity.

    All my love and respect,
    Mr. S

  142. Sleepyjane says:

    I just found this blog. And I’m sitting here gulping back tears.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Wishing you all the best and sending many prayers.

  143. Dave Pawlak says:

    God give you all His Peace.

  144. Amanda says:

    I’m so sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

  145. Autumn says:

    I have been so moved to read your story. We are lifting your family up in our prayers. My mom died of breast cancer when I was 20 she was 50 was diagnosed when she was 45. And my grandmother is fighting IBC right now. I am so impressed by the love in your family, and the way you all took care of her. Kelly, your blog saying ” Let me care for you” was real love. It reminded me of my mom and dad at the end of her fight. May you be richly blessed. THank you for sharing with us.

  146. […] a flood we had. I’m letting the little stuff get in my way until I read this very sad blog post: Punk Rock Mommy

  147. I am so sorry I found this after your passing…love to all those who have been touched by you!

  148. […] My Last Blog, by Punk Rock Mommy […]

  149. 180/360 says:

    I am so sorry to read this. My thoughts and prayers are with your family right now.

  150. My deepest support for everybody.

    Andrea will meet five people in heaven, and after that will be waiting in her own heaven to meet those that need her still.

    May we all find strength from what she brought here.

    ~Tom

  151. Anon says:

    tl:dr (except that you’re probably dead, so you won’t read this anyway)

    lol, punk rock mommy, what utter shit. You should have thought of something better to do with your life, but now it’s too late. I hope your kids grow up to be meth addicts hoping to be “punk rock” like their mommy

  152. debi says:

    Anon, There are no words for a creature such a yourself. I cannot understand why anyone would choose to spew such garbage, go away.

  153. Liv says:

    I heard about this blog and about Andrea while listening to NPR a couple of weeks ago. It was a show about death anxiety and someone called in and mentioned Andrea and how she had been on the show before her death and what a great inspiration she was. It was very odd, because death anxiety is something I had recently started to experience (for no particular reason, It just sort of came upon me).
    Anyway, I decided to look up this blog. I think it’s truly amazing and has really made a difference in my life… more than therapy, more than medication. Andrea’s strength, her love, honesty and joy, they bring me to tears… the good kind. Strong tears. I don’t know if that makes sense. But they’re tears of acceptance for this life and this world that is all at once both wonderful and terrible. Whenever I forget that acceptance, I’ll return to this blog (which I now have favorited), and I will try, once again, to love and accept as much as possible. That is, after all, all we can do, really.

    During the show I heard on NPR, the doctor being interviewed talked about something that comforted many of his patients, when the idea of leaving this earth just seemed too overwhelming. He talked about the ripple affect that a life has. Like a stone being thrown into a pond: at first the ripples are large and present and then they get bigger and fade a little, but they still spread throughout the pond. Just like a human life. Well, I just want to say that Andrea’s ripple has reached me, in a big way. Thank you. Thank you for sharing this. And to her friends and family, I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.

    Wednesday night I’ll be at Tattooed Moms celebrating my friend’s 21st birthday. I’ll make a toast to Andrea.

  154. […] My Last Blog, by Punk Rock Mommy […]

  155. WM says:

    Cancer has affected my life deeply. My mom is a breast cancer survivor. My best friend just learned her lymphoma has returned. I appreciate your words more then you know.

    My thoughts and prayers are with your family. May God bless you and them.

  156. Patty says:

    I just learned of your passing and this blog. I am so sorry to hear of your passing and pray that your family will stay strong in the memories you have left for them. I hope they will continue to share their lives and inspire others with your teachings of inspiration and hope.

  157. I truly believe we are spiritual being having a physical experience. Comforting to believe you will go on and on and on affecting people’s lives. Your life has helped to evolve all us.

    Thank you…….

  158. PJ says:

    I found this blog through The Daily Coyote. I can honestly say that I found meaning in every word of Andrea’s farewell and feel blessed to have found my way here. I have been sick over the past few years, not with a life threatening disease, but chronically sick all the same and through it and because of it I have received many of the same gifts and blessings that Andrea did. Some I have yet to receive. I see that now.
    I am particularly moved by Andrea’s faith in her children and in their future and I believe that such a legacy is among the rarest of gifts. May she and her family know deep and abiding peace.

  159. […] be possible to move a reader to tears with a blog post, but one woman proved me wrong. She wrote this entry: a post only to be posted on her blog by husband after she died: I learned that all the small stuff […]

  160. M says:

    I Don’t Fear Death

    But what I’m really picturing
    is Omaha: field after field

    of sorghum crisp to my touch
    and one house on a high hill,

    sheets on the line. You tell me
    everything ceases, that even

    our fingernails give up, but
    what I really believe is that

    we keep growing: infinite corn,
    husk yielding to green husk.

    I look back on the miles
    connecting me to Earth, think

    I’d have never worn those shoes.
    I slip them off like anything

    borrowed. The clouds are thin
    and yellow, smelling of

    fireworks and salt. In Omaha,
    the town votes me Queen of

    Everything. You are the slow
    dance, the last ring of smoke:

    to be held tight, and then only
    this colder air between us.

    by Sandra Beasley

  161. Loralee says:

    From my own experiences with loss I know that there is nothing that I can say to make this loss one bit easier for anyone who is in acute grief right now.

    I will just say that I am very, VERY sorry for your loss and tell you how beautiful I found this last post.

  162. Sailorjohn says:

    Peace.

  163. rachel says:

    This will change people. It will move them, it will speak to the very depths of their soul.
    You have been blessed with an amazing mother and she will go to Glory with God because he only takes the strongest and the best.
    I send you prayers of peace, understanding, strength, faith and love.
    God bless you all for now and always.

    ‘God takes our broken pieces and gives us unbroken peace’

  164. Suzie says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. She was quiet a woman.

  165. […] too late.  It had spread to her upper lymph system.  She had six children.  You can read about punk rock mommy […]

  166. […] sidenotes: Jenny twittered the death of Punk Rock Mommy. The blogosphere noticed the death of Tom Disch. The two have in common having a blog which they […]

  167. Brian D. says:

    I just wanted to leave one more post, like one more stone, to represent one more person whose life you touched.

    Godspeed to you, and God bless you and your family.

    A ha. Shake. Heartbreak.

  168. lizz says:

    Hi honey…
    It’s oct 12th, 2008. I was just reviewing movies on my netflix and came across Rock School. I decided to look at the reviews and after reading a few pages i came across one that you wrote. i started crying as soon as i realized it was you… i miss you so much Andrea.
    I think about you every day. i close my eyes and see you, i can still hear your voice.
    i talk to the kids every day… i spend every saturday with them, we do dinner and play board games. we played apples to apples one saturday. i had never played before and we had so much fun. i helped bailey with her home work last week, and realized that i still suck at math. how scary is that??? we did really good till the last problem, then tuck came down and helped… you dont realize how much stuff you stop using in the real world, i hardly ever have to multiply fractions as a hairstylist! lol!!! Alec is at school, i miss him alot, he’s all grown up and living college life. calling me by accident while racing go-karts!!! i cut tucks hair even shorter, asa’s is longer than his now, it’s so weird! jesse is amazing and helpful as always. we talk alot. he’s doing good. i promise. things are ok… and clay is the size of a 5 year old,,, out of contro how fast he grows! he’s such a love. he gives out hugs like it’s going out of style.

    hmmmmm…. **sigh**

    i know that i dont need to tell you all this, i know that you are here, i feel you around all the time. we all do. i guess sometimes it just really helps to put it on paper, or “blog” it. i just want you to know.

    i love you very much.

  169. […] found this final blog post from Andrea Collins completely by accident while researching how to write a closing post to a blog I will no longer be […]

  170. ginacide says:

    Good luck on all your travels.