House Visits

My schedule is all messed up. I sleep a lot of the day. I sleep most of the night. I can’t sleep for a few hours in the middle of the night. And I wake up early but want to go back to sleep soon after. Yesterday Ed showed up to give me acupuncture. I think it was 8:15 am. I was showered and dressed but had fallen back to sleep. My headache and nausea improved. As well as my hip pain. We all rounded up and headed over to Megan and David’s house to look at the new house. There were 15 of us!!! Poor Megan thought she was going to have a chance to clean up. Oh well. We can look past the debris from work and see the lovely home. As we wandered through going this would be good blah blah blah it struck me that I will never live there. And even though I was still happy for my family, I was a little less excited about the huge beautiful master bedroom that will be my husband’s. Dying is very inconvenient.

We also attempted to get Alec a new cell phone as his is broke. I got what few things done that I could. Clay napped and went to the Please Touch museum with his grandparents. Kelly tried to get a prescription filled for me. We had pizza for lunch and a friend brought dinner. I slept all day. And I would wake and then sleep some more. Bone hurting, body hurting sleep. Eyes heavy and walking like I am intoxicated. I am actually using the commode in my bedroom because the stairs are so daunting. We have a wheel chair which I am considering using tomorrow. We have an appointment for a tour of Penn Charter and I do not think I have the stamina for that. I will also need a ride to acupuncture afterwards. Right now it is making a big difference in how I feel. Today’s big outing is to get another colonic. I am still struggling to go to the bathroom. No matter what I eat. Which is very little since I lack a desire to eat. Last night Kelly bought some crab and lobster to give me some of my favorite food. I was too sick to eat. My husband said the lobster was awful. The crab was good and he trying to talk me into eating it with eggs for breakfast.We’ll see.

Some days I feel my body rushing towards death. New growths in my neck. New pain. Sleeping all day. I think is this what death feels like? I have no idea. So I wait. Death used to live on my couch maintaining a safe distance. Now he hands me a boarding pass I can not read. And I hope that God really forgives me for all the crappy stuff I have done.I think I will meet him in the not to distant future. And iI no loger pray for more time. I really want to be in Heaven now. ASAP.

68 Responses to “House Visits”

  1. toni g says:

    Some days I feel my body rushing towards death. New growths in my neck. New pain. Sleeping all day. I think is this what death feels like? I have no idea. So I wait. Death used to live on my couch maintaining a safe distance. Now he hands me a boarding pass I can not read. And I hope that God really forgives me for all the crappy stuff I have done.I think I will meet him in the not to distant future. And iI no loger pray for more time. I really want to be in Heaven now. ASAP.

    WHEN THE BUS GETS TO THE END OF THE LINE, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THE CONDUCTOR WILL LET YOU MAKE THE LOOP……ONLY THING NECESSARY IS TRANSFER TO ANOTHER PASSENGER TO COMPLETE THE TRIP WHILE YOU REST. JUST THINK ABOUT IT……ANOTHER ANDREA WAITING IN LINE TO RIDE THE BUS BACK. LUCKY GAL/GUY. good bye my friend, it’s been great knowing you.
    When my Shep gets there, give him a hell of a welcome.

  2. Katrina says:

    Sending love and prayers for a peaceful transition.

  3. Debbie says:

    Andrea, there can be no doubt that you will be greeted with open arms at the Gates of Heaven. Thanks for sharing all of your life with us that you could. We are all better people for knowing you. God bless and peace to you and your family.

  4. Patricia Webster says:

    Andrea, 2 years ago we went thru hospise with my Mother-in-law. She was in a beautiful facility in Morristown NJ, the nurses and volunteers not only tended to her but to our entire family and believe me they had their hands full, she had seven sons, 6 daughter in laws, 23 grandchildren a few neices, nephews and honorary family members, and we were all there most of the time as we were allowed 24/7 access. She had a beautiful, dignified death just as she wanted, she was a very religious woman like you and she also questioned Gods forgiveness, she also grew impatient waiting for the end, constantly asking “what is taking so long”. There was one sweet Philippino aid who was amazing. She was due to be off for two days and she sat with my Mother in law who was in and out of consiousness by this point, and held her hand and my hand, and said to her “Momma” I will not be here for the next 2 days, I have known you for almost 7 days now and I have come to love you like a member of my own family and I know that you are ready to meet the Lord God, he is waiting for you, but you must allow yourself to go, I pray that you let yourself receive him because you cannot go until you finally accept that it is your time, you must give up all your worries and fears about what you are leaving behind and accept your new life. She must have listened because she passed away the next morning with her two Granddaughters by her side while the rest of us were at 8:00 Mass…I think she was just waiting for Sunday morning when she knew that her family would be in Church comforted by the presence of God.

    I pray that you find the peace you need for your journey.

    God bless you Andrea

  5. lizz says:

    i don’t ever cry when i’m with you… it’s insanely hard, but i just don’t. and never in front of the kids, not yet anyway…
    i just spend the rest of my time breaking down, occasionally, randomly, at home in the car… or at work, while i’m eating lunch…(lol, not fun by the way) i talk about it sometimes, when people ask whats wrong, but they can never really know what it’s like to loose you… people who haven’t had the gift of having you near them, they’ll never get it. so i don’t try to explain. it’s useless. i don’t have the words.
    so i talk to jenny, ruthie, jen and na. it’s good to have them, they get it.
    thank you so much andrea, for everthing you have given us, taught us, it’s more than you can ever know.
    i love you doll.

  6. giftofgreen says:

    Love and peace to you and your family, Andrea.

  7. Tammy says:

    After getting myself together this morning the first thing I did was click on to see how you were doing today. No words can ever take away your pain for only God can do that. I believe with all my heart that God is waiting for you with open arms, and he doesn’t want you to be scared because what an awesome journey you are about to begin. You have impacted so many people by sharing your life with us, you have no idea what a blessing you are and have been to people. Nobody knows why this has happened to you-only God but I can tell you that you have been quite a trooper. Enjoy your time here with your family and continue to rest when your body tells you too. You should have no guilt because it’s been very obvious that you are a wonderful person, wife & mother. Thank you for being such a wonderful example for the rest of us. No one will ever take the place of Punk Rocker Mommy!!!!
    Love & God Bless You & Your Family!!!

  8. Michelle Wienke says:

    Andrea, Kelly and family-

    You all continue to be in my prayers and constant thoughts- I wish for you peace, irrigation (!!), great seafood, lots of snuggle time and no pain!

    I will check in with you tomorrow-with love and Blessings!

    Michelle

  9. Michelle Wienke says:

    ps- I know you are getting “ready”, but Im not ready to say goodbye yet, my friend!
    Michelle

  10. Cindy says:

    To let you know, still, your family is in my prayers. I donated what I could. I am a stay at home mom of 6 as well but I wanted to send something.

    You’ve touched and moved me beyond words.

    Love,

    Cindy

  11. Amy says:

    Andrea,

    There is no right way…….if this is yours……then savor every moment. Love and Peace to you!

    Amy Sherwood; Lincoln, NE

  12. Mare says:

    Andrea- I will not say good bye , only “see you soon”. This makes leaving this earthly existance a bit easier ( well just a bit, it makes it a hell of alot harder for us still here) knowing in our hearts that we will all be reunited again, without pain, surrounded by love and peace. Along with your family, Angels surround you now and you will never be alone.
    God speed and love you

  13. NoRegrets says:

    Hi – visiting on recommendation from WhyMommy. You are in my thoughts and prayers. And you are handling this with such grace. I wish you and your family all the best.

  14. Rachael says:

    Andrea-

    I happened upon your blog while I was hopping around this morning onlinee. I would feel remisce if I did not leave you a message telling you that I am truly humbled by your dignity, strength, fierce love for your family, and ultimately how brave you are. I will continue to follow your blog and wish you comfort and love as you go through your transition. You are a true example of one amazing woman, mother, wife, and friend.

    In Peace,
    Rachael

  15. Julie says:

    I have read your story more the past few months as a lurker. I wish you Godspeed on your journey. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us.

    We have all blessed by you.

    Julie

  16. Andrea says:

    Lizz, Thanks a lot for the comment cause ya know I love crying my eyes out before my morning coffee and cig. Probably good for me so thanks. Really I just wanted to say how much we love you and that Andrea, no Andrea, you will always be a part of our family. You’ve been adopted. We took a vote. It was unanimous. Welcome. Now go clean your room.

    Kelly

  17. Randi says:

    I just read your story this morning – it took up a better part of my morning and left me in tears. I want to say that I’m sorry that you are going through this and are being forced to leave your children and husband, but I don’t think that sorry is the right thing to say.

    My life has been touched by cancer, but the only cancer I have ever seen is in those who are much older and in the twilight of their life. I have never known someone who is so young and who has so much to live for have to deal with waiting to see Heaven.

    I’m not a religious person, but I want to bless you and your family. You are a beautiful woman with a beautiful family. Even though I do not know you and have never met you, I can tell from the posts left on this site by others that you will not only be missed, you will be remembered.

  18. Mary says:

    Andrea – I wish you gods speed on your passing. I was allowed on a friends of mine’s journey to heaven 8 years ago. Your posts have brought me back to those days and the emotional rollercoaster that they were. I came across a quote that brings me great comfort that I wanted to share it with you. “And I saw the river over which every soul must pass to reach the kingdom of heaven and the name of that river was suffering – and I saw the boat which carries souls across the river, and the name of that boat was love.” (St. John of the Cross)

    God bless you Andrea.
    Mary – Minnesota

  19. Larue says:

    from a favorite hymn we sing often in church-

    “Take thou my hand O Father and lead thou me. Until my journey endeth eternally. Alone I will not wander one single day. Be thou my true companion and with me stay.”

    Praying for comfort & peace for you and all who love you, me included!
    I consider it a privilege that you allowed “us strangers” into the most intimate goings ons. You have educated so many people, we all know how to live and love better because of you.

    God bless you. See you in Heaven!
    Love to all!

  20. Barb says:

    Peace to you and your family

  21. I don’t know if you’ll read this but the best photo of you is the one on the bittersweet blog, Bailey looks exactly like you in that photo! I actually thought it was a photo of Baily holding the baby until I looked closer and realized that she probably didn’t have her hair bleached or tattoos! That’s the way I will remember you, especially every time I look at Bailey and see your face looking back at me.

    I ache for your pain, and for all of your family will have to endure in the coming weeks, months, and years. I am choked up all the time and on the verge of tears, but I want your pain to end and I want your family to heal each other and grow.

    I want to get yellow outline halos around my pink neck stars for your kids so I feel they are each protected by you even in tattoo form!

    I love you!
    Amy

  22. Renee Khan says:

    Oh Andrea.

    God please give Andrea some pain free days. Please God.

    We will meet one day Andrea.

    Love Renee

  23. Ruthie says:

    Andrea,
    God will surely, surely, surely, forgive all the crappy stuff you have done. In fact, He already has. As for as the East is from the West. There is no memory of it as far as He is concerned. It is a promise to you, Andrea, “He (she) who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved!”. I pray that your heart will be settled in this matter so that you can pass without any fear, knowing that Jesus is going to meet you on the other side.

    I am sorry, so very sorry for your suffering, and pray that God will take you home soon. Please believe that you will live on in the hearts of your family, friends, loved ones and even those whom you have touched through your blog.

    May I leave you with this beautiful “picture” of death. I believe that waiting on the other side of this life, Jesus will be saying as He sees you approaching (the other eyes in the poem below) , “Well done, Andrea, thy good and faithful servant, enter into your rest.”

    There Is No Death

    I am standing on the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch her until at length she is a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

    Then someone at my side says, “There! She’s gone!” Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side, and she is just as able to bear her load of living weight to her destined harbor.

    Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, There! She’s gone! there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “There she comes!”

    And that is dying.

    — Henry Jackson van Dyke

    God bless you, Andrea.
    Ruthie

  24. maire brandon says:

    My heart just aches for you and your family……there are no words, none at all. You’ve opened yourself up and exposed your hopes and fears with all of us….I read the things you write and they speak to me so. You are the realist, as I am.
    I have not ever met you Andrea, but I love you ~ and I wish you the presence and touch of an amazing God who alone can offer comfort and peace to the depth of which you need it right now.

    maire

  25. Mary*Ann says:

    Wishing you peace Andrea. I know you have Love.

  26. Alexis says:

    I love you. I love your family. I love your friends. I love your readers. I love everyone who has come together and shown support for you. I know I’ve said it before, but your life has changed mine.

    I wish I wouldn’t cry as I read these last few posts. I want to be happy for you that you are going to be Home soon, and in no more pain and with no more grieving.

    I’m grateful, in a way, that you’ve had this experience. God certainly works in mysterious ways. What you are going through… I can’t begin to comprehend how hard it must be. But you’ve reached so many people because of it. Like Esther- God has put you here for such a time as this. We don’t understand why this has to happen. We can only praise God that He makes something good from even the shittiest situations.

    I hope you’re with Him soon.

  27. My heart hurts for you…but soon you will be at peace.

  28. alyssa says:

    Andrea-(((((((HUG))))))-Alyssa

  29. Linda Conley Soffer says:

    I’d like to take a moment to thank you, Andrea, so much for showing your family, all who have met you & all who read this blog how to truly live a transcendent life. Underneath this tragic experience has been amazing gift that I remain in great awe of, and that no tears can wash away. You have touch me and so many others in a very profound way, and I am honored to have met you & to have shared this experience with you.

    I believe that you must find the moment to embrace it all one last time, then finally let it go, let it flow through you & away from you like the great oceans. Fill yourself with love, and allow it to carry you to your next destination.

    Love and peace to you and your family,
    Linda

  30. Mary says:

    Andrea-
    I just started reading your blogs a few weeks ago and have prayed for you and your family since. I was with my friend 8 years ago on her journey and passing, and I have a quote that has given me great comfort that I wanted to share with you. “And I saw the river over which every soul must pass to reach the kingdom of heaven and the name of that river was suffering – and I saw the boat which carries souls across the river, and the name of that boat was love. (St. John of the Cross.) God speed Andrea.

    Mary – Minnesota

  31. caro says:

    godspeed, andrea, godspeed.

  32. megan says:

    i love the energy of your entourage, your family. (so no poor megan here!) i love that that energy will reside in this space we are creating. that energy is from you, from God. thank you for bringing everyone into the rubble yesterday, it gives us energy to keep creating. and of course the joy of seeing you among your children, having them love my little one brought me a moment of glee in this melancholy time where we wait with you.

    you are blessed. the spirit of love that travels around you in the form of your family, and extended family (naomi and naomi, alys and abbie who i sat with yesterday). love and humor and the same sense of the reality of life that you possess. i pray that love carries you safely to what awaits you. and that that love hangs over us as well in the months ahead. love and love and love to you, megan

  33. Jill Aldrich says:

    How do you do it, Andrea? How do you write so eloquently and passionately and lucidly at such an extraordinarily difficult point in your life? You are something else. God love you, baby.

  34. Stephanie says:

    I hope that if I live my life with as much courage, faith and love that I will one day meet you in Heaven.

    If only I could be 1/2 the woman in living that you are in passing… you inspire me to be a better person, so Im going to say bye now and go play with my son.

    I love you, Stephanie

  35. ByJane says:

    Andrea,
    Thank you again for sharing your self with us. May you close your eyes and pass peacefully, knowing that you were, are and will always be in the hearts of many, because of who you are and your incredible honesty and generosity. I will miss you and I am a better person because you have allowed me to know you.

  36. leah says:

    do what you can, that’s all you can do, you have given so much of yourself to others, and we are all so lucky to have had you, known you, love you and learn from you. this is now your time to relax, sleep, rest, and finally be pain free.
    you are loved so much and you are so blessed to know that.
    i love you
    ~leah

  37. Aja Beech says:

    That light now breaks, and we await the day’s
    outcome in hope that, somehow, all will be well.
    Our fears may be great, but she whom we all praise
    as close to our lord has preserved the citadel.

    You have summoned us here, and we obey
    gladly and pay you reverence, consort to our king.
    Is it good news or bad? We wait for you to say,
    who will show us the way to accept what fate may bring.

    from the Oresteia
    by Aeschylus

  38. Juanita says:

    Godspeed, Andrea. You’ve done so much for so many, may it be your time now. Time of peace and painlessness.

  39. Wendy says:

    Ruthie is right. There is nothing to forgive. It is covered. We are all sinners, we all do wrong. This life is a journey with God and allowing him to make us into who he wants us to be. Who he created us to be. When you leave us that journey will be over. You will have arrived.

    “3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

    5He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

    6He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. ”

    You have been so faithful in your journey. Soon you will be welcomed to a new home as a daughter. You will rock heaven’s gates in your new body and we will join you when it is time. Love you, Wendy

  40. kathleen says:

    dear andrea,
    you continue to show such grace and clarity, even in moments of pain and grief and i wish you peace and light during this transition. you are a remarkable woman who has given this world so much, your beautiful, thoughtful children are your legacy. thank you for the inspiration to be a better person, to laugh more, and get more tattoos.
    godspeed, mama.

  41. jenni bender says:

    Andrea,

    My heart breaks when I read about you being in pain and having new pain. I have so much love for you. I have some much love for your family. I know it’s selfish, but I find myself wanting more time with you. I did that with my dad, too. I try to barter with God to have you feel well. You would think I have learned my lesson about bartering with Him. I pray so much for you to feel no pain. For you to feel peace and happiness. I want more than anything in this world to make this go away for you, to do something to take away the pain, to make all of this easier for you and the family. (if there is something, tell me!)

    You have touched my heart in a way that no one else has. I hope you know that. I hope you know that I will do anything for you. And anything for your kids and kelly, too.

    I just wanted to thank you for being you. You are a bright beautiful light, a pure example of God’s love and you shine it on me (and everyone else who knows you!)

    I feel kind of weird writing this on the blog, but I want you to know this, that I will miss you so so so so much! And I will cry and I will rejoice in how wonderful of a woman and friend you are. You are the closest thing I have ever had to a big sister. Thank you for loving me. I love you. xo

  42. Elisabeth says:

    Andrea,

    I have been reading for awhile but have never had the nerve to post. I can’t not post at this point.

    I want you to know that I am awed, inspired and humbled by you. I, like everyone else here, is so touched and blessed to have been allowed inside. And the peace that you’re radiating now….that you’re allowing closure…your acceptance. I know that at some point I’m going to be in a situation where I’m hanging on to your words, and using you as my example. You are a hero to me.

    Thank you Andrea for all of this. You have done so much with this journal. Thank you for letting us in. God bless you…you are His. Reading your blog restores my faith. I know you are the apple of His eye. And even now, during your last moments, I believe (strongly) that you have done so much in spreading God’s love and showing His light.

    Love,
    Elisabeth (from way back in the Circle 7:00 days)

  43. diane says:

    “To live in hearts we leave behind
    Is not to die.”

    Thomas Campbell

    And this, is true…..

  44. Heather says:

    Sweet Andrea, Prays for you for pain free days. Always on my mind and in my prays. My son who is only a little over two even knows when we say his prays to include you and your family. It so cute and innocent. You taught me to stop and listen and when I did he blew me away with that fact he remembers you all each night. Thank you, Heather

  45. Rachael says:

    I commented on another entry of yours that was given the perfect post award. I was so touched by it that I’ve spent a good part of today reading your story. Now I reach the almost-end, and I can’t stop the tears from running down my face. Thank you so much for sharing your life and the end of it with all of us strangers. The thing that’s touched me the most is your faith and your relationship with God. I only found my faith a little over a year ago, at 26 years old and with it being so fresh I am still shocked by how things like discovering your story can profoundly affect MY relationship with God. I’ve been wanting to tell the story of my journey in faith, and you’ve inspired me to start doing that. There’s not a lot I can say except that you are amazing, and I think a LOT of people will miss you when you’re gone. I will be praying for you to have a smooth transition to a place where the pain is gone, and will continue to pray for your family, your kids, and your friends that they may have a bearable transition in figuring out how to live with you in their hearts instead of in their house.

  46. Maureen says:

    You are transforming my very understanding and acceptance of death. It is scary, but you are so brave. Thank you.

  47. Stefanie says:

    I just learned of your struggle and this blog a few weeks ago – and have lurked here – in tears and awe. I have no words – except that you have touched me (and so many others as you know) in a way in which I shall never be the same. Thank you.

    I wish you peace.

    –Stefanie

  48. jodi kelly says:

    Hi Andrea, I am a friend of Kristines in Michigan. I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. You as well as Kristine have been through more than anyone deserves. I guess it is hard for us to know what Gods plan is for us. I do know that you have touched many lives with your story and this website. You sound very ready to go through this process. Please do not be afraid and know that as long as you accept Jesus in your heart, all of your sins will be forgiven and you Will have eternal life in a beautiful pain free place. Someday you will be reunited with your beautiful family and friends. I also look forward to meeting you one day. Enjoy every moment and I wish you everlasting peace. Sincerely, Jodi Kelly

  49. Allison says:

    Andrea – I wish you one day of no pain. Your strength is amazing. You will be in my prayers, your family will be in my prayers. They have to know how truly blessed they are to have such a positive role model, and loving mother and wife. You have touched alot of people with your blogs opening up your life to share this with total strangers. God Bless you.

  50. kyle says:

    Andrea
    thank you. thank you for sharing in what is such a private and family focused time. i lost my fiance 4 years ago to colon cancer. he was not able to express much of his feelings about the final stages. i thank you for being able to share so much of yourself with us. you are an amazing woman and every prayer i have is with you, Kelly, and your children. i pray that at some point a peace overwhelms you and there is no more pain. i don’t know how to eloquently say what i wish to but hope that you know that there are so many people that you have helped that you do not know. so mcuh love being sent your family’s way and much strength to you in your journey.

  51. Kim (Larisa's Mom) says:

    Andrea, I will miss your beautiful words. I have followed along this past year laughing, crying and admiring you and your amazing family and friends.

    Larisa wants Bailey to know she is thinking about her. Fiona wants Bailey to know she loves the princess crown that Bailey gave her.

    My girls and I will miss Bailey next year. If it is alright with you please let her know that if she ever needs anything or just wants to hang out with Larisa she can give us a call. We’re listed.

    Wishing you the peace and comfort you deserve, Kim

  52. Rachel Sensenig says:

    sounds like you really do know that God forgives you because you don’t pray for more time here anymore. you long to be with God and you are not afraid. that is what i continue to love about you!
    if you cannot make it up on my deck to see fireworks and eat decent seafood on friday i will forgive you too:) you continue to be a force of life and beauty, even as your body moves on. and you will always be that force. i hope you can rest deeply in that reality, even now, in transition.

  53. Karen says:

    And so if you should fly before I return from Rehoboth,I want you to know(albeit cliche,it is from my heart) that my life is richer for having known you.Someday I know I will see you again~~ I believe with all my heart that this is not all there is.I struggle to not hold on too tight because the mere fact that you are in my life means I will soon have to let go.I constantly pray,for the strength to learn how to do this.My head knows for me to keep doing this kind of work,I must learn to detach,my constantly heavy heart has not caught up with my head.I wish you peace in your mind and in your soul and I wish you comfort from your pain.I am grateful for the time we shared this morning and for you coming into my life .I will be looking for the sign.Peace and Love, my friend.

  54. Rachel Sensenig says:

    p.s. i liked your line about dying being so inconvenient. i’m really feeling that. i want you to be in that beautiful master bedroom.

  55. shayna says:

    I am so thankful i got to sit with you tonight. My heart is filled and overflows with love for you. I am so proud of you and how you have fought. but you looked peaceful tonight. and beautiful. and i am happy for you that you will be with God soon, but I am sad for me. Sad for the people you will leave, the children- but we will take care of them and we will take care of each other.

  56. lizz says:

    you looked so beautiful tonight. you were glowing.
    i love every second i get to steal with you.
    i feel guilty, and totally lucky.
    i love you.

  57. Sara says:

    Praying and praying Andrea…for you and your family. You all are so amazing.

  58. Jeanine says:

    I add my prayers and my admiration to the long list – what a gift you are giving your children, Kelly, and those you love by the way you are walking this road. And for those of us who have never met you – I know that to me you are an example or courage and life and commitment and character. I pray for pain-free days and I know that God is waiting for you and His words will be “Well done, good and faithful servant”.

    Virtual hugs…..

  59. Karyn says:

    Dear Andrea, I have been reading your blog since last Friday. I know some of your family members and friends, and I was at one of your earlier benefits, although I have never met you. I have been struggling with a hard decision over the past year and a half, whether or not I should move home to Australia to be near my family. I have lived far away from them for more than half my life. You have helped me to decide 🙂 After 7+ years in Philly, I will move home at the end of August. I am so inspired by you and your loved ones. Thank you for sharing your life & journey so that we may all grow closer to God. You are in my prayers. Peace to you!

  60. AnneMarie says:

    I’ve been a longtime reader but never commented. You are a beautiful writer. My life has become richer by finding this site. I wish you peace and relief from this earthly pain.

  61. Jason says:

    Andrea,

    I want you to know I love you. Whenever I play Boogle or Rummikub I will think of you and the wonderful times we shared while I was unemployed. I will also think of the time when I see you again and we are both pain and worry-free!

    Just one thing how can one of us lose a game Boogle in heaven if there is no sadness? hmmm… I am sure we’ll figure it out!

    Love,
    Jason

  62. Maura says:

    Andrea
    I have never cried so hard or so much since my mother died. Your words are prolific. You have so enriched the lives of your children, husband, mother & your large circle of extended family. Heaven is awaiting an absolute Angel.
    Amy’s thought of the yellow circle around your star is a wonderful thought.
    I have but one lone tattoo and am in the process of having a special one designed in your honor. I am getting one of the sun, moon & stars. There will be a star for each of your children hanging by a larger star in pink & black which represents you and a smaller one for Kelly. You have been such an inspiration to so many people.
    GOD BLESS YOU & WISHING YOU PAINFREE & PEACEFUL CROSSOVER

  63. Donna says:

    I love you…I love your family…I pray for peace for all of you…and for the world…I believe, in every cell of my body…is why we are here…you, Andrea, have shown us the way, of the “PEACEFUL WARRIOR”

  64. Katharine says:

    I have been thinking about you so much since our last Pilates session and getting swept up by the tide of my life, it has taken me way too long to tell you! I am thankful for having the opportunity to meet you Andrea and to have spent time with you. You are full of grace and beauty that transcends this realm. I can see from this site how many lives you have touched including mine. You are a gift to this world and many have and will continue to learn from the generosity of your spirit. You were put on this earth for many reasons and one of the many is to be a teacher. Thank you for the many lessons I learned from you.

  65. machele alessandrine says:

    Hey girl, I recently just learned of your struggle. You amaze me and inspire me just like ya always did. I picture you and your wonderful children all sitting in my salon, and it seems like yesterday.I wish it were. Andrea, as i sit and read your words of strength i realize i may never see you again and that makes me sad. You are a strong and beautiful woman and your memory will always have a place in my heart!

  66. Shelly J says:

    Andrea,
    Thanks again for sharing your life with us. Amen to Amy’s comment that your sins have been removed from the east to the west. May your heart know this. Praying for you and Kelly and Tony and all your babies.

  67. Daryl Teblum says:

    Kelly, my niece and nephews, July 5th, 2008

    I am so sorry to hear about Andrea’s passing – my sister, your wife and the children’s mother.
    Andrea and I were close when we were little kids. I have tons of pictures with Andrea, Stacy, and I from all the different places we visited; Twin Oaks Camp, and just having good old fashion fun together. The times we spent even just sledding down the big hills in Southampton are such precious memories I would love to share with you.
    Andrea and I drifted apart when she started having children, and I was moving all over the country for my career. I contacted her numerous times trying to make arrangements to see her, but since she decided to push her family away, and I guess for some reason she just included me too.
    Her entire family from her father, step mother, sister, brother in law, Myself (her BROTHER), my wife and children, her grandmother Faye, Uncle Bruce, Uncle Larry & Aunt Cindy, and many others have been forced to grieve from afar (but not by our choice). Andrea’s family has been reading Andrea’s Blog several times a day to stay informed with as much information of her condition as possible. Her blog has become the only lifeline to her for us to know what is taking place in her life. PLEASE allow the doors of communication to be reopened. We all want to know you and come to love the Man that Andrea loved so fiercely. We love Andrea and her children so much, and we pray we will be allowed to be a part of all of your lives. I would very much like to get to know you, my brother in law.
    Please pass my condolences along to the kids. On my last trip to PA, I was very lucky to run into Alec and Jessie. I was very happy that they remembered that I am Uncle Daryl. I have always wanted and tried to be part of their lives (even from afar). The last time I saw them, they were so excited to see me. It was so wonderful to see what great young men they were becoming.
    I am so sorry for your family’s loss. We are all grieving also. If there is anything that we can do or help, please let us know. Andrea’s father and sister are located VERY close to you and could be there at a moment’s notice. I could be on the next plane from Florida up there if wand when needed.
    I loved my sister Andrea very much and am hurting a lot over her loss. Please allow us to get to know her legacy (meaning her children). Please let me know what arrangements have been made. I would appreciate the opportunity to fly up there to say goodbye to my sister.
    Thank you.
    Respectfully,
    Daryl Teblum
    (Andrea’s Brother)
    239-265-1340

  68. debi says:

    Andrea, I miss you and I still come here most every day. When I read your words it’s still like you are right here. We all think of your family and pray the best for them.