Batman and BBQ


Today was the day we had decided to celebrate Alec’s 18th B day and Bailey’s 11th. We went to see the dark knight movie and ate barbecue till we were stuffed at famous dave’s. It was a fun time for all the kids and our extended family of adults as well. Things like this are still hard for me, I miss my wife and sometimes being around the whole crew that has been there through the last few months of Andreas life makes me a little uncomfortable. I feel like I’m still stuck in cancerland. My wife really made it all tolerable. Starting over is really hard. I think I’ll feel a lot better when I go back to work a little more in a few weeks. I did get to watch clay eat his first rib and that made my night. He intently gnawed on it till there was no meat and his face was covered with sauce.I really need to thank everyone who has helped out over the last year in any way. Those of you that helped out financially really allowed me to be there for Andrea over the last couple months and now with the kids full time for another couple weeks. I’m not sure you can understand how huge that is unless you’ve been there but let me tell you it is appreciated.

Stay Classy Blog Readers

44 Responses to “Batman and BBQ”

  1. megan says:

    go bailey and alec!

    we need to get the little guys together again soon. we miss clay.

    love, megan

  2. mandi says:

    hugs. can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going thru. thinking of you all.

  3. Someone who cares says:

    I came upon this site after your wife had passed and am so addicted to your site b/c you all are “real” people and so honest and open about things and that is what attract’s me to your sight and I thank you for being so honest and open and allowing those of us to see and listen to your thought’s. I look at the photo’s of you all and tears come to my eye’s b/c you have a beautiful children whom didn’t deserve this, nor did you ! I see how strong you all are and Im a mother myself and It woke me up your wife’s story b/c she isn’t hear to be there for any of them and I bitch b/c they don’t clean there room’s or are driving me crazy, or my baby is throwing a temper over something. I realized to enjoy those moments b/c life can change infront of your eyes just like that and andrea isn’t able to see her kids anymore and I feel the pain for your youngest child i think the most . He is so young to understand all this and it’s not fare for any of your kids to be cheated like that … Sorry to go on and on but your wife and your family has really impacted my life b/c we all take things for granted so easily and complain about things and stress about other things but your blog has made me see that family is more important than anything in the world and dont sweat the small stuff ! I hope you continue this site and My heart goes out to you all ! Punk rock Mommy Rules ! God Bless you all .

  4. Gin says:

    I wish I had something intelligent to say to help relieve your pains. My husband says I’m intelligent when it comes to the matters of the heart, but at this moment, I’m at a loss of words for you, Kelly.

    I hope Andrea’s children and Clay help you through your healing journey.

  5. Rachael says:

    Happy Birthday to the kids. It sounds like a wonderful celebration, I can just imagine the absolute cuteness of Clay eating a rib! I’m so glad that you’re able to spend this time with the kids. ((Hugs)) to every single one of you.

  6. Dina Leah says:

    What a great way to help those kids celebrate their birthdays. Good to let yourselves escape (even for a short while) in a movie…
    Still holding you and your family in my heart and hoping each day brings you some happiness, deeper breathing and less pain.
    Your Andrea touched my heart so deeply with her postings.
    May you all find peace.
    In Light,
    Dina Leah
    Ventura, California

  7. Meredith says:

    Happy Birthday, Guys!! Toddlers + BBQ = Picture-Takin’ Time!!

  8. Mo Hayes says:

    oh snap.

    i wish there was a video of clay eating ribs so that i could have two videos to watch over and over.

  9. Maureen says:

    Happy Birthday Bailey and Alec!

    I have heard that the Batman movie is amazing! Im going to see it tomorrow.

    I think about you and your family every single day.

    Thank you for keeping in touch.

    Hope you got my postcard!

    Maureen from Akron, Ohio

  10. Deb says:

    I saw a quote the other day that immediately made me think of Andrea:

    “The measure of a life, after all, is not its’ duration, but its’ donation.”

    I think the person that wrote this must have known her!

    Happy birthdays, Alec and Bailey. Trust me, all the “firsts” without her are the hardest. They will get less painful, I promise.

    Deb in AZ

  11. Nat says:

    Happy birthday to Alex and Bailey!

    I can’t imagine what you are all going through but, for what it’s worth, I’m thinking of you.

  12. Renee Khan says:


    When I read your blogs I always cry.

    I just want you to know that I have IBC like Andrea and I want you to know because I don’t think you do — that you help me so much to see what life will be like for my family when I am gone. I often think that you speak for my husband who doesn’t say alot. I know that you are different, but the heart is still there.

    I see that the family still goes on, even when we can’t go on with them. It makes me sad and it makes me okay.

    Thank you Kelly.

    Stay real and stay strong.

    Love Renee

  13. Heather says:

    Dear Kelly,
    Thinking about you and wishing there was something I could say to ease your pain. I think all you can do is give yourself time and don’t put any expectations on yourself. Thank you for continuing to write and let us know how you are doing.

  14. leah says:

    happy birthday bailey and alec, i’m glad to see you all got out and had a good time : )

  15. Nancy says:

    Happy Birthday Alec & Bailey!!

    Thank you so much Kelly for allowing us to still follow you on your journey. All of you are in my thoughts & prayers EVERY day.

  16. Aja Beech says:

    Alec and Bailey-Happy Birthday!

    I have so much to say- so I’ll just call you guys instead.

  17. caro says:

    Happy Birthday, Alec & Bailey!

  18. Happy Birthday to Alec & Bailey!

    Continue to love and enjoy each other…

  19. julie says:

    Happy birthday Alec and Bailey!!!

    I hope you took lots of photos of Clay. i can just imagine how cute he looked covered in bbq sauce.

    thinking of you all!!

  20. Carolyn says:

    My heart aches for you and your pain Kelly. Take small steps and continue to enjoy the beautiful moments like Clay and his BBQ adventure. I hope you can break out of cancerland soon.

  21. Jim says:

    Happy Birthday from Buffalo, NY

    Kelly – don’t be afraid to reach out for what you need – just let me know

    You are all in my thought and prayers

    ‘Live Strong’


  22. Cindy says:

    These are all wonderful moments that Andrea would want you having and enjoying though bittersweet because she’s not physically there to share them with you. Keep loving and living.


  23. Michelle Wienke says:

    Kelly and “everyone”-

    First of all, Happy Birthday to Bailey and Alec-hope their day was great!

    I’m glad to see someone else is sending you love from my “neck of the woods” (Western New York)….there are so many people who love all of you, even though we have never met, and miles and miles away.

    I continue to check the page everyday to see how all of you are doing, and pray for all of you every morning, and think of you often throughout the day…

    Kelly, you will have the monumental task in the next 10-15 years of continuing on with what Andrea started, and I have NO DOUBT that you are up to the task-you are an amazing man, and you and Andrea found the kind of love most people dream of…..

    I continue to offer Blessings and love to each of you daily, it sounds cliche, but you all do have each other, and it will get a bit easier with time….because I work for Hospice, I see a lot of memorial type stuff, my favorite, and it hangs in my bedroom says “Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy”…..I like to think when I look up at the beautiful summer sky, that the star that shines the brightest is Andrea, and she is letting us know that she is happy.

    She, and all of you, have made such a profound difference in my life, and I will hold you all close in my heart always….please keep writing when you can,,,,we look forward to it!

    You will, and may have already, started to recieve small “signs” from Andrea-she will let you know that she is alright, so that you can continue on your life’s journey with her close to you-

    Peace and Blessings to all of you-

  24. Sarah S. says:

    I am glad you were all able to celebrate the kids birthdays! I can just see Clay’s little face all covered with sauce.

    In time it will be less painful. I am sure it is hard coming up for air after everything that has happened. I like to think that Andrea was there too celebrating, watching over everyone and smiling.

  25. MMM (Heather) says:

    We’re all here praying, and pulling for you. This story has especially touched me, as I lost my mom when I was 8. (Car accident-drunk driver). I wish I could have found this blog before Andrea passed, so I could have kept her in my prayers and sent her encouraging messages. It’s beautiful that you are carrying this on for her and the children (and yourself!).

  26. pamela says:

    it sounds like it was a great day! you continue to be in my prayers, love to all of you,

  27. sara says:

    It is true what Michelle said about the little signs. I was amazed when my mother sent me signs, and it was truly comforting to know she was at peace.

    Thank you for keeping in touch, it is nice to know how you are all doing.

    Peace and love,

  28. Melinda says:

    Happy birthday kiddos.

  29. bendagen says:

    Happy Birthday and Happiness to Bailey and Alec.

    Kelly, our family is still reading every day.

    Thanks for opening up your lives to all of us.


  30. Maura says:

    Happy Birthday Alec & Bailey
    You have all been in my thoughts and prayers daily & what you all did today was another amazing feat. To be able to go forth even with trepidation after such a traumatic & devastating loss shows the strength & love that you all have. This had to be so difficult for you and with Andrea
    looking down and smiling you did it.
    The next days & months are going to be very stressful for you. Having your extended family around all the time has to be another uneasy chore. You may find that you will have to take some time for yourself to grieve and breath on your own. Just remember it’s important to take one day & one step at a time.
    I have been reading Andrea’s blog for at least 6 months and find myself
    reading it over and over again as well as all the comments. She has changed so many people’s lives through her words, courage and honesty.
    As Michelle put it, look for the “signs” from Andrea. They might be as insignificant as a bird or butterfly. But you will notice certain things that you might not have seen a lot of that seem to follow you wherever you go. They are the type of ‘signs” I am referring to.

  31. Sara says:

    Kelly….I just made a donation through the Paypal link on your site. I know you posted your address on a posting awhile back….but couldn’t find that, so just used the paypal link instead (Punk Rock Mommy Donations) Wanted to let you know we think about and pray for all of you. Just keep loving on those kids 🙂 PS. we love Famous Dave’s too:-)

  32. Deb says:

    I second (or third or fourth) what the others said about ‘signs’. The past two Mother’s Days since my own mom died I have received amazing signs from my mom. If I wouldn’t have seen them with my own eyes, I’d have never believed them. Also there are some wonderful books out there on losing your mom, and I’m sure your spouse as well. We may think we can get through this all by ourselves, but they are very comforting.

    Deb in AZ

  33. Linda, Palm Harbor, FL says:

    Happy Birthday Alec and Bailey! So glad to hear that you all got out for a while and enjoyed the day. I know how hard it is to start enjoying life again without Andrea. It’s very hard, but I know Andrea would want you to. Thank you Kelly for continuing to let us know how you are all coping. I’m thinking and praying for you all. Hugs to you all.

  34. The bad hippie says:

    it’s hard to look at the blog sometimes with Andrea gone now. I think, it’s only been 15 days, and it seems like forever and yesterday. It’s hard to come down off of the constant waiting for the end, and the work of just living in the day, sometimes, the day is just really long. ya know?
    I’m resting and finishing projects around my house, stay busy and then crash, busy and then crash. Sometimes I have to exhaust my body so that my mind will shut off for a little while.
    I’m totally in love with my kids, Jasper is so happy to have me home, I miss all of you guys like crazy, the tree’s say hi, and call me to figure out who’s coming down with the Erin’s next weekend, if anyone is.
    love love love and more love

  35. Lo says:

    Kelly and Family
    I was led to your site, quite by accident (except that for sanity reasons I try to think everything is for a reason) right after Andrea passed. I spent the next two days and nights reading the entire site. Wow and tears-that is what I experienced from all of your sharing over and over. I wish I knew Andrea-wish I met her. Now I think of her whenever I look at my CBGB shirt or tattoos…..or cancer…….I wish I met her and you guys. I want to help too. Can you please send me your email and or snail mail address so I can go into more detail?
    You are beautiful people.
    It will be harder before easier but know that Andrea is free now and wants you and the kids to ‘live.’
    Wonder Woman has always been my hero-now Andrea’s spirit is my wonder woman! I will be adding a pink star to my Wonder Woman tattoo in honour of Andrea and all who fight the fight.

  36. Dina says:

    So glad the birthday celebration went well. I am sending you a package tomorrow-most likely by UPS. Let me know if it doesn’t get there by the end of the week. Love to everyone!

  37. Stefanie says:

    Kelly and Family,

    My thoughts and prayers are continually with you all. This blog has become so important to me — and I thank you and Andrea for opening my eyes, heart and spirit to *more.*


  38. Lo says:

    oops:) forgot this up above-about 3 comments back
    my contact email is

  39. lizz says:

    the movie was great… but watching clay down that rib like a champ was pretty much the best thing i have ever seen… jon-o should have been there to document that!

    love you.

  40. Tina says:

    I’m praying you all thru this!! It will get better; Andrea made it possible for you all to go on without her because she left so much of herself in each of you. Bless you all!

  41. joshua says:

    thanks for no spoilers on the movie.

    most of all thanks for the image of clay eating ribs.

  42. Mary says:


    I came across this site while I was signing a guest book for someone from my old neighborhood who died and I saw Andrea’s picture in the Inquirer – it was the day or so after she passed. I think I have read every blog and looked at every picture, tearfully. I can’t believe I still have a job cause my boss has seen me crying at my desk reading this. Andrea is amazing so are you, the kids and all the wonderful friends that have helped you! I think of her everyday and never even met her – I would have loved to call her my friend. I am a breast cancer survivor – 7 years for me but I am still afraid of it everyday!

    I am getting a few girls together – some who have turned 40 this year and we plan on getting our first tattoos – I told them we have to get them from you. Are you on South Street?

    Thanks for letting us into your lives! Take care and I will pray for all of you!

  43. Marty says:

    Andrea is I know so proud and happy that you all are going on. She always wanted the best for all of you.
    God bless each and everyone of you.

  44. Kelly's Mom says:


    I feel what you are going through. You describe it well. My heart hurts with you. I remember feeling the empty hole left when your grandpa passed away, and wondering how that emptiness could be so heavy. It took some time, but the weight did become lighter. The space in my heart that my father occupied, I now perceive as a golden light. I think that light is love. And though I still hurt from his loss, it comforts me. Your experience may be different, but I hope that something like that comfort will come to you in time.

    I am so proud of how you stood by Andrea and are standing still for all the kids. Taking care of yourself is a must. And paying attention to their needs too can help to keep you from being too immersed in sadness. I trust in your wisdom to help you find your bearings and regain your balance. Be patient with yourself.

    I hope you find some solace from the comments on this blog. There are so many hearts that care for you. Bill & I are here for you, too. We are looking forward to being with you again soon.

    Love, Mom