Happily ever after…

Today was Andrea and my wedding anniversary. I wasn’t sure what the day would bring, sweet memories, tears of loss, or weather I would just be numb knowing that I had to work all day. I spent the morning first with my little man who makes me smile so much. He is one determined little guy and keeps me bonded to my late wife. I dropped him off with his nanny and spent the rest of the morning with a dear friend of Andrea and mine sipping tea and eating truffles. Spending time in silent prayer and reflection. I felt her spirit there and got a chance to thank her for all the love she has given me and all the love she has gracefully left behind for me. So my morning was actually beautiful and not sad. Our wedding was a lot like Andreas memorial, Simple, real, beautiful, and a little unorthodox. In the weeks after I heard many friends that where there that it was the most real wedding they had ever been to. I had always wanted to be married to someone I was truly in love with. I loved the experience. I loved my wife. I love the family she gave me. And when the time is right, with the right person, I would gladly and fearlessly forge down that path again keeping the lessons about love and partnership that Andrea and I taught each other close to my heart at all times.dsc00912.JPG

35 Responses to “Happily ever after…”

  1. Toni Alperin Goldberg says:

    ah Kelly……….beautiful musings………..you used a word that so wonderfully describes the loss and the love “gracefully”. You have obviously absorbed her love into your being and shall go forward with the confidence that she shall occupy a space inside of your heart that only you can enter. Keep it safe for her as she leads you back into the world.

    with affection, toni

  2. Pat says:

    I am so glad that you have had that magical time together. I hope these wonderful memories help you get through the tough times.

  3. MizFit says:

    you are so very, very strong.

    beautiful post & words.

  4. gin says:

    I hope you find what you need today when you least expect it. That your day will be beautiful as much as your love for your wife is.

  5. Julie says:

    Kelly, hold on tight to those beautiful memories. Thank you for sharing them with us.

  6. Barbara Walder says:

    Would love to hear the details of your wedding.

  7. Tim Bathurst says:


    It was good to be reminded of your wedding day. It is a memory I will always treasure in my heart as well.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Love you, Bro!

    Tim Bathurst

  8. joshua says:

    great wedding, great couple. lots of memories, and lots of future possibilities.

  9. Renee Khan says:

    Kelly it is a wonderful thing to be loved and to love in return. Congratulations on your love and sympathy that your love is not here.


  10. Jessica says:

    I am glad to hear that you are open to what the future will bring for you. Surely love is a cicle, and you get love when you give it. Thank you for continuing to allow us to be part of your journey!

  11. Maureen says:

    Beautiful picture!

    I would love to hear the wedding details as well!


  12. Sally says:

    How wonderful to have experienced love like that in your life – REAL love. I know you miss your beautiful wife each and every day.

  13. Cheri Thiel says:

    Happy Anniversary…your marriage memories are a great gift for your children. It will give them something to strive for in a life long partnership. Thank you for sharing.

  14. Tess says:

    Happy Anniversary to you both and I am happy that you are in faith today.

  15. shari says:

    Happy Anniversary…I am glad you look toward the future with hope. Andrea is in your heart and will live there for eternity, especially through your children. You deserve to have the love and happiness of a partner whenever you find it. It is a testament of the love you and Andrea shared that makes you open to walking that path again. I will lift my glass to you and Andrea tonight in a toast for peace, love and happiness!

  16. Miamy says:

    aww, you guys are sweet. happy wedding anniversary! 🙂

  17. Michelle Wienke says:

    Happy Belated Anniversary Kelly!
    Im glad that your day was spent in reflection and love! You do have that wonderful family to carry you through each day-please let us know how the kids are when you get a chance!

    You are still all kept in my daily prayers-keep writing to let us all know you are well-and pictures, pictures, pictures when you can!!


  18. Roads says:

    Well done for making it through your day successfully and constructively.

    I think that’s often how it goes with momentous dates like this one. Much feared and anticipated in expectation, they can turn out quite differently in reality.

    Just as grief can strike you down when you least expect it, so can the dreaded days prove far better than anticipated.

    Spirits up, and all best wishes to you from London. Just keep going.

  19. Morgan says:

    Hey Kelly,
    I haven’t checked in for a while (stupid firewalls at work). I’m glad to hear you are all making it through. I talk with Dr. McNett often and we share hopes for you all. He talks with my classes as he once did for Andrea’s.

    I was talking about you both on Wednesday. Coincidence that it was your anniversary. I got part 1 of my biggest, most ambition and socially visible tattoo to date. It’s a big floral shoulder cap and makes me feel very punk rock mommy. It gave me a chance to talk to my birth class and my (female) tattoo artist about my pink star and about how to check their own breasts. You wouldn’t believe how often I bring this up in otherwise “polite” conversation.
    I refuse to let Andrea pass from us in vain. I get to tell of her strength and wisdom in birth on a regular basis. It’s a tribute I enjoy very much. And I can almost do it without tearing up. Almost.
    Love to you and yours,

  20. What a beautiful post.

  21. Anna says:

    What a great picture! You are truly blessed to have
    experience true love.

  22. Hello Kelly,

    I haven’t posted but you have been in my heart and mind and thoughts, along with Andrea. I met her through ToddlerPlanet and Susan. I had began working on the new website with all the other Mothers with Cancer when after 9 years remission of cervical cancer, my cancer metastasized and I began radiation, then chemo. I found out 2 weeks ago I have Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I feel like a walking cancer magnet…. 🙂
    Bladder, hip/pelvic bone, now IBC.

    I lost my husband 10/12/02. It is still hard. They say time heals. I think that is a lie. Time just goes by. The hurt lingers. YOU learn to manage. I have 2 daughters, 12 and 14 years old. They keep me going. I would love to mainline their energy. They are too young to have been dealt these cards. We tend to think “why did this happen to me/us?”, but I think it is unfair for the children.

    Know you have another friend out here, if you need a shoulder, or at least an email-ear, feel free.

    Andrea was beautiful inside and out, graceful, and most of all a fighter who loved her family.

    You mentioned the t-shirts, I would love to have one. Please let me know when/if you get them ready and decide to carry on with the idea. I think it would be awesome!

    Thank you for the time.


  23. Mom says:

    Son, I thought of you and Andrea so often while we were vacationing in Hawaii last week. I remembered the bright, happy day of your wedding. Andrea asked me to join her for the morning, just we girls, and accompany her while she had her hair done before the wedding. She was so happy and giggly. No inkling of the shadows that would fall into our lives in such a short time. I took her out for a special lunch, and I remember tearing up in gratitude that you had found such a wonderful woman to love and marry. She was so intelligent and funny and capable and charismatic. I knew you had found a partner who could appreciate your strengths and encourage your sense of purpose.

    It has been a brief and sometimes very difficult three years, and the sadness we feel now is a measure of how much love and joy she gave us. She will always have an indelible presence in our hearts. We see her in each one of the kids and we see her in the positive changes she has brought to your life. The fact that you would make a space for a new partnership some day is a testimony to the depth and

  24. Mom (part 2) says:

    (finishing my thoughts) The fact that you would make a space for a new partnership some day is a testimony to the depth and fulfillment you found in your marriage with Andrea, one of her many gifts to you.

    I know she is proud of the way you are carrying on with life. You are doing a good job and have taken on the responsibility for so much, taking it one day at a time with grace and care. Whenever I feel stressed, I think about how you have dealt with all the difficulties you have gone through and kept an even keel (more than I ever could have.) You inspire me.

    Much love,

  25. What a beautiful anniversary tribute.

  26. debi says:

    Wow, you have a wonderful Mom.

  27. Brian says:

    If you were ever to log onto Kelly’s computer, the first thing you will see on the screen is http://www.punkrockmommy.org

    That’s the household ‘homepage’. That’s what I found when visiting Kel last week. My first week long vacation in ten years.

    Throughout Kel’s 130 year old three story rented row house are pictures of himself, Andrea, Alec, Jesse, Asa, Tucker, Bailey and Clay. Wonderful pictures on one wall of their last vacation at the shore together are there to greet you as you enter their new home. The evenings are abuzz with activity. Homework done feverishly and conversations abound concerning the days events from all the kids. On the evenings and days Kel is working, Tony is there working with and being there and for the kids. Truly an amazing Family experience to behold. The ‘nannies’ Kel speaks of are the most caring and loving young women one could hope to care for my grandson Clay while Kel is working. And yes, Clay is a handful!

    In the still of the night all is quiet and peaceful. Before daybreak the sounds begin. First are quiet wooden floors three stories tall now creaking…awakend by footsteps of the most amazing kids getting ready to start their day at school. They get themselves up, make lunch for each other and get off on time to start another day of learning. Andrea would be Very proud! I know I was.

    Priviledged to be there for Clay’s second Birthday. He’s a very big boy! My last trip to Philadelphia was for Andrea’s and Kel’s wedding, so I had never met my Grandson prior to this trip. I can’t tell you how proud I am of Kel. And the kids. And all the wonderful friends of theirs I met the evening of Clay’s birthday. I was overwhelmed. Wonderful dinners together on every evening…playing in the park with Clay. Playing cards and talking late into the night with Kel. (He whooped me at cribbage, but I got back via gin).

    To all of You, Thank you so much for your love and friendship to Kel and his family. You know who you are…

    Andrea will always be remembered by all who knew her and many who never met her, but read her writings.

    So thank You Kelly for a wonderful vacation. And keeping the memmories of Andrea alive in your home. I know in my heart that Andrea would be proud of the choices you make in your life.

    I miss You and the kids!

    Love you,

  28. Barbara Walder says:

    I loved reading what you wrote.

  29. Denise in Ontario says:

    Hi Kelly,

    Thought about Andrea today and feel that this whole blog – especially all of Andrea’s writings should be published. She has such a message to send to people and we all get strength from it.

  30. Linda, Palm Harbor, FL says:

    I have not written in a very long time, but that being said, you and Andrea and your family are just a thought away. I think of you often, and your dreams and wishes of your future are a throws stone away. I know that days go into months, but time sometimes stands still when you think of the ones you miss the most. Please know that Andrea’s life will always be a remembrance for me in that she was such a very special lady who I came to love…along with you and your dear family. I always pray for your all, and with the love of our Lord Jesus, you will know that Andrea is watching over all of you. She loved you all so. And so do I! God bless you all in this coming seasons that I know will be very hard without our Andrea. God bless, Linda

  31. debi says:

    Thinking of you and the kids Kelly. Hoping you all will be surrounded by loving friends and family for Thanksgiving. My love to you, debi

  32. wendy says:

    Thinking of you. Happy Thanksgiving. Love, Chris, Wendy, Gio & Dante

  33. Donna Arnold says:

    Hi Kelly, Alec, Jese,Tucker, Asa, Bailey, & Clay:
    May you be even more abundantly blessed this holiday season. I know Andrea is with you all and loves you all so much. So do we that read and follow the blog’s ongoing entries.
    Know so many folks hold you each in thoughts, hearts, and prayers. Big hugs……Donna in SC

  34. Barbara Walder says:


  35. Maureen says:

    Happy Thanksgiving to the whole family. You all were in my thoughts today and every day.

    Maureen, Akron Ohio